Two under two. Unless you have been through it yourself, honestly, you have no idea how crazy, amazing, chaotic, fun and overwhelming life can be at the same time. I must admit, I was very naive with my expectations on what life would be like before little Frankie arrived.
Here are my expectations that did not quite go as I thought they would.
The double pram
The minute you find out you are pregnant you are like oh i’m going to need a double pram. I spent hours searching online for the best one. I asked so many mums for their recommendation and the truth is, Frankie is 4 months old now and I’ve used the double pram, which cost over ?1000, twice.
The age gap between Mole and Frankie is 18 months. Mole is very independent and as you all know, she hates the pram. I thought the double pram would be the easiest option for when I am out and about solo with them both. However, I’ve found what works best for us, is having Frankie in a baby carrier so I can be more mobile with Mole (running after her without leaving Frankie stuck in a pram on his own). Sometimes I take a stroller for Mole when she is tired or I need her to stay put.
It is much easier going out with them both on the weekend when my partner is off work and one of us can hold Mole’s hand and the other one pushing Frankie in his pram.
My opinion is, if you have a confident walking toddler, try a buggy board first before spending a large amount of money on a double pram. Then if you feel you need a double pram then go ahead. I really recommend theBugaboo Donkey Duo 2. It is not as wide as you think so you can get into doorways ok, you can see them both at the same time and you have easy access to both children quickly. Compared to the tandem pram I previously had for them both, this one is far easier to drive.
2. The double nap time
My vision of this was that they would both just nap at the same time everyday. I am so confused why I originally thought this. Or maybe I did know double nap times were like hitting the jackpot and I just didn’t realise how hard the day would be without it.
When you don’t strike with a double nap time, for the whole day you do not stop. You don’t get that 2 minute break for a hot coffee or that half an hour to put the washing and drying on.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love playing music class all day or reading children books to them both, but spending the whole day doing it can leave you clock watching for bedtime.
3. “The dishes can wait” quote
During my first pregnancy I was told “the dishes can wait, the washing can wait etc” so many times. I never listened to this advice. the little energy I had was spent getting the house in order before being back on mama duties again.
So, during my second pregnancy I thought, ahh you know what, this next time around I will take it easier. The house chores can wait and I will enjoy my time more. I was in for a shock.
Yes, you can leave the dishwasher and all of those annoying little jobs however, they catch up with you big time! You soon realise if you have that spare 10 seconds to move the pile of ironing or wipe down the kitchen table you have to take it there and then.
If you end up with a no double nap situation, they last thing you want to do is the cleaning in the evening.
4. The bed time routine
I assumed they would both fit into having the same bedtime routine together. I completely forgot that whilst Frankie is a newborn, he needs to have a later bedtime that Mole’s 6:30 bedtime. Although now it is easier as Frankie goes to bed at 7:00pm. The first few months, the evenings felt long. I would get Mole bathed and ready for bed then have to start the same process with Frankie again a few hours later.
5. I know what I am doing
The second time around, your confidence is stronger. You know what is to come when you go into labour, you have a better idea on when milestones are approaching and in general you do just feel more like “you’ve got this”.
What I did not expect was how no two babies are literally the same! Mole is independent, she loves to play with toys and she developed at a faster pace. Frankie on the other hand, he is not really into toys and would rather be cuddled whilst watching a film together. What worked for Mole does not always work for Frankie.
I have often thought to myself “oh I have no idea what to do.” As each baby is different they need different methods of help. Clearly, I was over confident in thinking that I have had a child before so I know what to do but, that is not the case at all.