Tag: post natal depression

5 min read

Weaning

5 Baby Led Weaning Mistakes

Zoe

November 26, 2018 9:00 am November 26, 2018

5 min read

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5 min read

I’m going to confess to 5 mistakes I made when moving on to baby led weaning with Mole. Background I began weaning Mole at 4 months old after thinking we…

I’m going to confess to 5 mistakes I made when moving on to baby led weaning with Mole.

Background

I began weaning Mole at 4 months old after thinking we were both ready, turns out we was not quite ready yet so waited another month.

Mole began of smooth pur?ed foods and loved it!

I could feed Mole any flavour and she would eat the whole lot.

As mole reached 7 months I began to change up her eating routine to gain techniques with different textures.

However, this is when I made some silly and avoidable mistakes.

Baby led weaning mistakes

Eating hard foods straight away.
Giving up on foods my baby does not like.
Not judging the length of time correctly it takes my baby to eat their food.
Cutting the food into the wrong shapes.
Over facing my baby with too much food.

Baby led weaning mistakes explained

Eating hard foods

I never took a minute to think that Mole had mainly smooth pur?e. Moving on to hard food such as cucumber just did not work for her. She had no teeth and found it hard to break down. Mole would just gum the cucumber making no progress or just spit it out and gag.

After practicing with soft foods like croquettes and strawberries, Mole felt confident to have a go on harder foods. I also felt like she was enjoying eating and not getting as frustrated.

Giving up on foods my baby does not like

This one is my main mistake. Each time Mole would display signs of not enjoying a food I would give in and never feed her that food again. This also goes for pouches. However, I have now noticed that she changes her mind like the wind. One day she could love a food and the next day she will hate it. I just have to count my luck with her. Knowing this mistake has helped a lot with our baby led weaning journey.

I began giving her vegetables as this is the most healthy type of food for her. Mole did not like eating a piece of broccoli compared to eating broccoli pur?e. I switched it up to giving her fruits knowing that she will eat fruit. And she did. I tried again with her veg and suddenly she was eating it with no issues.

I do think that her mood and time of day has a big role to play too.

Not judging the length of time correctly it takes my baby to eat their food

A mistake I made was trying baby led weaning with her right before we had to either go out or be out in a restaurant.

I am sure some babies take to this okay but mine did not.

If we were out there was always far too much going on for her to even have any interest in picking up her food and eating it.

Compared to feeding Mole a pur?e, baby led weaning takes so much longer. Not my best idea if I had plans afterwards. Obviously you can not rush them to eat so you have to be patient. This was a little frustrating for me when all she would do is throw food on the floor or spit every little bit out.

I made sure that when we were doing baby led weaning, we had all the time in the world to eat. It was also nice as I could get a hot cup of coffee whilst she was still eating.

Cutting the food into the wrong shapes

I Googled what shapes to cut the food into when I first started baby led weaning. I did this because I was terrified of her choking. Every website I read said cutting into halves or finger sized slices.

I think this is one mistake that maybe more unique to Mole. She preferred her food in small bits. Mole seems to hold the food better and put it into her mouth better compared to finger sized foods.

Now she is getting more confident I am giving her food in bigger pieces.

Over facing my baby with too much food

Looking on Instagram for inspiration I would see beautiful plates full of colourful food.

I basically copied not taking into account that Mole had gone from a smooth pur?e straight to a plate of food would be too much.

She would not eat any of the food and try to throw the plate on the floor. I gave up quickly and I became discouraged after seeing so many other babies eat plate fulls of food online.

I still display all her food nicely on a plate for photo purposes but when it comes to giving her the food I just take a little bit off the plate and let her eat that. Once she has finished I give her more. I could not believe how much progress she made doing it this way.

Baby led weaning tips

Start off with their ultimate favourite foods such as fruit
Use kitchen roll to get rid of any excess juice which will discourage their grip
Use a knife with a serrated edge to help their grip
Start off with Ella’s melty puffs to build your confidence with them not choking
If your baby is still struggling then they might not be ready. Feed your baby textured pur?e instead for a bit longer.
Try again tomorrow. Don’t give up
Choose soft foods to begin
Feed them in your baby’s usual eating environment
Turn off any distractions such as the TV
Get a dog to help clean up the mess haha.

PLEASE LIKE, SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE XXX

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5 min read

Baby Motherhood

Dear Molly

Zoe

September 20, 2018 12:56 pm September 20, 2018

5 min read

1217 views

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5 min read

Dear Molly, When I first had you I never had a baby before. When I found out you were growing in my tummy I was extremely excited for our new…

Dear Molly,

When I first had you I never had a baby before. When I found out you were growing in my tummy I was extremely excited for our new adventure through life together.

Although I had never been around babies before, I thought I would be really good at being a mum because I work with children. I spend all day teaching them and showing them the right way to behave. I make them laugh and guide them through their problems. Some children I worked with always made bad choices and I would do my hardest to help them make the right choice even when other adults didn’t understand why.

So when I had you Molly I thought I would instantly be able to make all of the right choices for you, especially because you were mine. But Molly, I had no idea how hard being a mummy really is and i’m sure one day you will see for yourself when we look after your brother or sister if me and daddy have anymore babies.

When I first had you, I had all the time in the world as I had taken time off work. But having you meant I had to make a hard choice of moving out of Grandma and Grandads house to live with your Daddy. That was scary because I had never lived with a boy before and me and your daddy had not been together for very long so I was worried if he saw me all the time I might annoy him and he would not like me anymore.

Moving house was very lonely. I had no other adults around me. It takes my family a long time to travel here and I had no friends either. I had no one to talk to and I would go all day and night on my own and i’d get really upset with daddy when he would come in from work and spend the evening on the PlayStation with his headset on and then fall asleep on the couch for the rest of the night. I wished that you were big enough to be able to talk to me and we could have a girly night in together. I just felt like I didn’t know you. Not like I do now. I was terrified that I didn’t know I’d love you when you grow up.

When you were a baby you cried a lot. I was very silly because I never had a baby before I thought you cried a lot because of me. Sometimes I was scared to hold you because I thought you didn’t like me. Even when I wanted to hold and cuddle you, I felt like I couldn’t because I would make you cry. If I would hold you out in public I thought people might notice I was struggling so I didn’t leave the house. When really you had terrible tummy pains and reflux. You were crying because that was your way of talking to me, telling me that you needed me. I would cry too, not in front of other people, which is very silly. I’d cry because I needed you, and I was worried about being your mummy and doing it all wrong. From day one you taught me something very special; When you are hurting you should always tell someone. Even if it is a little hurting.

I always told my students at school that if you make the wrong choice at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter as we are all human and make mistakes sometimes. Well I should have listened to my own advice. But I felt like if I told anyone they would think I was a bad mummy and they would question my love for you. I know now that I may not be the best mummy in the world, but to you I am. And I will always do what is best for you trying my full best.

I am writing this letter to you Molly just in case there is another mummy out there who is scared and worried. I want them to know that yes it is okay not to be okay. To have a cry in the shower, to go to sleep feeling sick but it all gets better in time. I promise. Telling someone really helps. I’m not worried or scared about you anymore Molly. I can finally say I am excited and feeling all of the joyful feelings I did back when I found out you were growing in my tummy.

Thank you Molly, you have gifted me with so much in 5 months. New friends for life, life lessons, new passions, love and confidence (one thing I never thought was possible to have before you).

You may still make me cry on the odd hard day but I promise you fill me with smiles till I am bursting.

I love you always

Mummy

xxx

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7 min read

Motherhood Wellness

My Feelings After Birth | Baby Blues

Zoe

August 29, 2018 12:35 pm August 29, 2018

7 min read

1440 views

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7 min read

I was super chilled through out my pregnancy. I never freaked out or stressed out, I took every single day as it came and I couldn’t have been happier. But…

I was super chilled through out my pregnancy. I never freaked out or stressed out, I took every single day as it came and I couldn’t have been happier. But all that changed right after I gave birth.

My pregnancy involved me moving to a new town to live with my boyfriend as I currently lived with my parents and at the time, even though I was a few hours away from everything I knew, it didn’t seem to bother me.

My first words holding her were “oh my word what do I do??!!”

The moment Mole was placed on my chest I got scared. My first words holding her were “oh my word what do I do???” screaming out to the midwife. I had no experience with babies and I don’t even think I had held a baby before. It hit me, the huge amount of responsibility I had caring for her and I wanted to be perfect.

Struggling to breastfeed

After a few hours in hospital, the midwife came in and questioned me “have you not fed her yet?” in a stern tone. It was the “yet” in her question that stuck with me. I felt sick, I looked at Mole sleeping away in the little crib they have and thought, “why have I not fed you yet 🙁 ?” and then I thought “how do I even feed her?” I really did not have a clue what I was doing. It took me 10 minutes to struggle changing a nappy and one of the most important responsibilities as a mother is feeding your baby and I had no clue how to even do it! The feelings of excitement and happiness started fading away.

The feelings of excitement and happiness started fading away

Struggling to breastfeed at the start gave me so much anxiety. From not knowing when and how often she should be feeding to not knowing if I was doing it properly and Mole was having enough.

This feeling still lasted when I took Mole home from the hospital. As soon as I walked through the doors with her she cried and cried and cried. I was trying to feed her every 40 minutes but she was constantly hungry. I was up all night for about a week. I saw every hour of the clock. It wasn’t till I spoke to my mum on the phone at how much I was struggling caring for her when she asked “are you winding her?” I didn’t even know what this meant! Again I felt like I was doing everything wrong and as a mother I should know all of this stuff.

Flashbacks

I’m not sure if anyone else has gone through this, I kept on getting flashbacks of the birth. But the painful bit. It was like I had PTSD from birth trauma! My birth story went really well actually, I don’t even know what I’m complaining about as so many women have it bad, yet, it was the most traumatic event that had ever happened to me. I had never had that pain before for hours on end. Every movement I did afterwards that hurt triggered a memory of screaming to push Mole out. I could even feel the pain again in my mind.

The Nappy Train

Sadly, I could’t get to grips with how often I had to change Mole’s nappy. She would get so upset if she even just did a little wee in her nappy. For some reason I got this awful feeling of reflection. Spending most of my life in education to finally hold down a good job and now being off work to change countless nappies everyday. I don’t know why but it made me feel like a failure in my job.? It was hard to convince people around me as well that just because i’m off work doesn’t mean that I do nothing but watch TV all day, I am constantly changing nappies and feeding. I am raising a life. It was very hard to accept that being a mum is a full time job. Its the hardest full time job. And I am so grateful now that I can see it is the most rewarding full time job.

Mourning my old life

Writing this now, remembering the thoughts I had about missing my old life has got me in disbelief. I’ve had Mole for 5 months now and I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I am so grateful to have her and the happiness she gives me every single day. Nothing in the world can make me as happy as she can.

But, during the first few weeks I found myself mourning my previous life. My selfish life. Being able to shower when I wanted, sleep all night, go to the gym for two hours and not feel guilty. I would constantly question myself “What the hell have I done?” I’d gone from having it very cushy living with my parents and seeing my friends every weekend to being in a whole new town, not having anyone to help to caring for a newborn baby.

I would constantly question myself “What the hell have I done?”

Tears

I can’t tell you how many tears I shed during the first few weeks. Anything could set me off. The worst was when the midwife at my check up appointments would ask how my mood was and I’d get a horrible lump in my throat and then i’d spend the rest of the session not listening to her properly because I’d be trying my hardest not to cry, then as soon as the session was over I’d just burst into tears. I didn’t want people to think I wasn’t coping because so many people have babies and they all seem to handle it pretty well. I wanted to be like them. A strong mum.

I remember placing Mole on her play mat in front of the shower so I could multi-task watching her and getting to wash my hair. I’d step into the shower and cry. Looking at her whilst crying made me cry even harder because I felt guilty for crying when I was so lucky to have her. I’d get out of the shower and paint a smile on my face so know one could tell tears were streaming down my cheeks 5 minutes ago.

Symptoms of Baby Blues

I started to wonder if I had Post Natal Depression. But I didn’t have all of the main symptoms and some days were good days for me. I came across Baby Blues whilst researching my own symptoms and I fitted into this perfectly.

Crying for no reason
Irratbility
Anxiety
Insomnia
Poor concentration
Sadness
Restlessness
Impatience
Mood changes

It was strange really because after 2/3 weeks I felt normal. Like all of my previous feelings and struggles were just a dream. I started getting out of the house to baby classes and making new mum friends pouring my heart out to them, going on walks breathing in fresh air and began the process of loving my new life.

I wake up every single day now so content and in love. Even through the bad nights of no sleep I look at Mole and smile. I almost hate myself for ever feeling the way I did the first few weeks of her life but sometimes you can’t control what is going to happen. Hormones have a huge role to play too and i’ve accepted that I can’t blame everything on myself.

I LOVE being a mummy.

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