Tag: mum blog

Dear Molly

Dear Molly, When I first had you I never had a baby before. When I found out you were growing in my tummy I was extremely excited for our new…

Dear Molly,

When I first had you I never had a baby before. When I found out you were growing in my tummy I was extremely excited for our new adventure through life together.

Although I had never been around babies before, I thought I would be really good at being a mum because I work with children. I spend all day teaching them and showing them the right way to behave. I make them laugh and guide them through their problems. Some children I worked with always made bad choices and I would do my hardest to help them make the right choice even when other adults didn’t understand why.

So when I had you Molly I thought I would instantly be able to make all of the right choices for you, especially because you were mine. But Molly, I had no idea how hard being a mummy really is and i’m sure one day you will see for yourself when we look after your brother or sister if me and daddy have anymore babies.

When I first had you, I had all the time in the world as I had taken time off work. But having you meant I had to make a hard choice of moving out of Grandma and Grandads house to live with your Daddy. That was scary because I had never lived with a boy before and me and your daddy had not been together for very long so I was worried if he saw me all the time I might annoy him and he would not like me anymore.

Moving house was very lonely. I had no other adults around me. It takes my family a long time to travel here and I had no friends either. I had no one to talk to and I would go all day and night on my own and i’d get really upset with daddy when he would come in from work and spend the evening on the PlayStation with his headset on and then fall asleep on the couch for the rest of the night. I wished that you were big enough to be able to talk to me and we could have a girly night in together. I just felt like I didn’t know you. Not like I do now. I was terrified that I didn’t know I’d love you when you grow up.

When you were a baby you cried a lot. I was very silly because I never had a baby before I thought you cried a lot because of me. Sometimes I was scared to hold you because I thought you didn’t like me. Even when I wanted to hold and cuddle you, I felt like I couldn’t because I would make you cry. If I would hold you out in public I thought people might notice I was struggling so I didn’t leave the house. When really you had terrible tummy pains and reflux. You were crying because that was your way of talking to me, telling me that you needed me. I would cry too, not in front of other people, which is very silly. I’d cry because I needed you, and I was worried about being your mummy and doing it all wrong. From day one you taught me something very special; When you are hurting you should always tell someone. Even if it is a little hurting.

I always told my students at school that if you make the wrong choice at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter as we are all human and make mistakes sometimes. Well I should have listened to my own advice. But I felt like if I told anyone they would think I was a bad mummy and they would question my love for you. I know now that I may not be the best mummy in the world, but to you I am. And I will always do what is best for you trying my full best.

I am writing this letter to you Molly just in case there is another mummy out there who is scared and worried. I want them to know that yes it is okay not to be okay. To have a cry in the shower, to go to sleep feeling sick but it all gets better in time. I promise. Telling someone really helps. I’m not worried or scared about you anymore Molly. I can finally say I am excited and feeling all of the joyful feelings I did back when I found out you were growing in my tummy.

Thank you Molly, you have gifted me with so much in 5 months. New friends for life, life lessons, new passions, love and confidence (one thing I never thought was possible to have before you).

You may still make me cry on the odd hard day but I promise you fill me with smiles till I am bursting.

I love you always

Mummy

xxx

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The worst parenting advice for new mums

Have you recently had a baby? Congratulations! I’ve just had a baby too, well 5 months ago now and I can finally say I have started to get the hang…

Have you recently had a baby? Congratulations! I’ve just had a baby too, well 5 months ago now and I can finally say I have started to get the hang of motherhood now and I honestly never thought I would ever be able to say that. Especially in the first 3 months. That was the hardest for me.

I attended one of my friends baby shower the other day and she had an “Advice Book” for guests to leave a piece of advice in their about motherhood. Considering I have just been in the baby bubble recently my mind went blank. It reminded me, really clearly, about the new mum wilderness and the wasteland of parenting advice I received.

As soon as you announce you are pregnant advice comes at you from all angles. Well it did at me. I got opinions left right and centre. I was judged on every decision I made.  Advice came from anyone. An old lady in the doctors waiting room, a cashier at the supermarket, the midwife, my family and of course I became obsessed with anything baby/new mum related on the Internet, magazines  and apps. (I literally think I had every pregnancy app going.)

And the thing is, most of it is terrible. But when you are a first time mum it’s difficult to tell. You just want to be a sponge and absorb everything you are told so you can try to do a perfect job. What is the worst advice you could give to new mums?

Here’s mine 😀

Sleep When the Baby Sleeps

How many people have been told this? I still get told this 5 months on :O . It’s like its everybody’s favourite piece of advice to give you. They put their hand on your arm and tilt their head whist saying it in a calm yet patronising tone. Well these people must not have had a baby in a very long time because it is not that easy. I tried. In reality when your baby naps that is the only time you get to do anything such as have a shower, eat, clean, you know, basic human needs. By the time you fall asleep for your own nap your baby will wake up again anyway. Literally no point.

The cleaning can wait

Erm no. No the cleaning can not wait. I refuse to live in a pig sty. It’s bad enough being horrendously tired with a million and one visitors to see the baby and your house being a tip. For me, a messy house made it look like a sign I was not coping. In my house if I didn’t do the cleaning then no one else was exactly going to do it so what are you suppose to do? leave the dirty pots to pile up in the sink and not wash any clothes that are covered in baby sick and you know what else?

Disclaimer: If you do have someone to do the cleaning for you then totally take up the offer and yes the cleaning can wait 🙂 Put your feet up and enjoy every moment.

Rod for your own back

I was told so many “don’ts” . I was told not to Co-sleep, not to give the baby a dummy, not to put Mole in her baby rocking chair…the list goes on. After a few weeks I ignored it all knowing the full consequences and I still do not regret any decision I have made. When it is 4am and you have been up a dozen times through the night and the only thing that will settle your baby is to sleep together I will do it. And who is anyone else to judge? No I am not making a rod for my own back by raising my baby exactly how I want thank you 🙂

Health Visitors advice

Well 99% of the advice I have received from Health Visitors has been a waste of time. I’m sure there are lovely health visitors out there but personally I am yet to come across one. Stupid questions like “Are you sleeping okay?” “Erm well no obviously I have just had a newborn baby”. “You must get some sleep” brilliant, great advice thank you. Or speaking to them about reflux and needing Mole to be sat upright was like waving a red flag at a bull. “Oh no you can’t keep a newborn upright, they have to be lay flat.”  You can’t have this or that etc you get  my point.

Google

I use Google for everything. I would Google every single symptom Mole had, I’d Google “Why is my baby not sleeping?” or “What is this mark on her?” I would stay on Google for hours scanning every single page looking for the answer. If you are doing this at 3am and you are on page 17 of Google search results I think you should stop.

Cry it out

After trying this piece fo advice I do not know who was left more traumatised me or Mole. This advice has been great for other parents I believe but not so great for me. Mole cries if she needs something or she is genuinely upset about something and leaving her to cry made matters worse. I don’t want to see my baby upset or hear her cry. I’d rather just see to her problem and then get on with making her feel better.

So there you have it. My bad parenting advice! Comment below what bad parenting advice you received!

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10 things i’d do differently next time I have a baby

No I am definitely not broody…well don’t ask me that question if I am around cute, little newborns or Mole is having a good day. But… I was thinking about what…

No I am definitely not broody…well don’t ask me that question if I am around cute, little newborns or Mole is having a good day. But… I was thinking about what I would do differently next time I have a baby. I wonder if you also would do the same or have experienced the same feelings as me?

This post will also be helpful for a new mum-to-be, getting some advice from a mum that had no clue at first and has learnt a lot from her mistakes!

1. Have my mum present during labour

Now I know I am only at number 1 and already doing this wrong as I did have my mum present during labour with Mole, but, I’d 100% make sure she was again. There is just something calming about having your mother there. Maybe it is because she has been through it before and can give you advice or maybe its helpful because everyone needs their mummy sometimes. Comment below if you had any parents present?

2. I will not put pressure on myself to breastfeed

Sure I will give it a go, just like I did with Mole and if it doesn’t work out I promise myself not to lose sleep over it. Mole has coped just fine on formula and it has been very easy with bottle feeding and working out a routine.

3. Get sleep before visitors!

This is a huge one for me. As soon as you have a new baby you are in a whirlwind and surviving off adrenaline and coffee. I am so grateful for all visitors, taking time out of their lives to see my baby and making sure we are all well, but, it completely floored me. I think next time I will wait a week before allowing visitors so I can get settled…or I will make them make their own drinks so I don’t have to keep getting up and going through the pain of my burning stitches sitting back down. Sorry not sorry.

4. Be more open with Baby Blues

I am so guilty of always painting a smile on my face and pretending i’m all good and next time I will not allow myself to do this. Its far too draining. I will be honest and ask for help when I need it and not try to cope on my own.

5. I will not listen to every single piece of advice

Some advice is definitely helpful however, I tried to take on board everyone’s advice and it didn’t work for me. I will learn as I go and make my own mistakes to learn from. Next time I will be more confident to trust my own instinct. This includes getting into my own routine and not follow someone else’s.

6.Take more photos!

I have no photographs of Mole right after I gave birth to her. I have some from a while later but I would love to see more from right when she came into the world. I think it would be incredible to see.

7. Not rush into decorating the nursery

When I was pregnant I had the whole room finished as I felt an urge to rush it all. When in reality the baby doesn’t even sleep in there for 6 months. I wish I took the time to plan out the nursery and not jump straight into the first style I had in mind.

8. Use a dummy straight away

I was told not to use a dummy because it can confuse the baby when they come to breastfeed. Mole loves her dummy as a comforter and it has saved us in so many situations where she has got herself worked up and the dummy has helped to calm her down. I wish I would have gave it to her sooner and saved some public meltdowns.

9. Save up

Next time around I’m going to try and put more money behind me so I can have longer off work and really cherish the moment of being able to spend it with raising my baby. I hate the fact that money controls how much time I will have off with Mole. I’d love to have longer as it is going by far too quickly now.

10. Not stress about getting my pre baby body back

I went to the gym just 2 weeks after giving birth. I was so disgusted with how I looked and I would slog myself at the gym to try and feel like the old me again. Although I have controlled what I eat to an extent and I have been active, your body does just go back over time. I will not go crazy trying to fit into my old jeans until I am truly ready and after more sleep.

I’m sure there are probably 100’s of things I will do differently next time around but these stuck out for me. What about you? Do any of these sound similar to you or would you change other things? Let me know in the comments 🙂

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My Feelings After Birth | Baby Blues

I was super chilled through out my pregnancy. I never freaked out or stressed out, I took every single day as it came and I couldn’t have been happier. But…

I was super chilled through out my pregnancy. I never freaked out or stressed out, I took every single day as it came and I couldn’t have been happier. But all that changed right after I gave birth.

My pregnancy involved me moving to a new town to live with my boyfriend as I currently lived with my parents and at the time, even though I was a few hours away from everything I knew, it didn’t seem to bother me.

My first words holding her were “oh my word what do I do??!!”

The moment Mole was placed on my chest I got scared. My first words holding her were “oh my word what do I do???” screaming out to the midwife. I had no experience with babies and I don’t even think I had held a baby before. It hit me, the huge amount of responsibility I had caring for her and I wanted to be perfect.

Struggling to breastfeed

After a few hours in hospital, the midwife came in and questioned me “have you not fed her yet?” in a stern tone. It was the “yet” in her question that stuck with me. I felt sick, I looked at Mole sleeping away in the little crib they have and thought, “why have I not fed you yet 🙁 ?” and then I thought “how do I even feed her?” I really did not have a clue what I was doing. It took me 10 minutes to struggle changing a nappy and one of the most important responsibilities as a mother is feeding your baby and I had no clue how to even do it! The feelings of excitement and happiness started fading away.

The feelings of excitement and happiness started fading away

Struggling to breastfeed at the start gave me so much anxiety. From not knowing when and how often she should be feeding to not knowing if I was doing it properly and Mole was having enough.

This feeling still lasted when I took Mole home from the hospital. As soon as I walked through the doors with her she cried and cried and cried. I was trying to feed her every 40 minutes but she was constantly hungry. I was up all night for about a week. I saw every hour of the clock. It wasn’t till I spoke to my mum on the phone at how much I was struggling caring for her when she asked “are you winding her?” I didn’t even know what this meant! Again I felt like I was doing everything wrong and as a mother I should know all of this stuff.

Flashbacks

I’m not sure if anyone else has gone through this, I kept on getting flashbacks of the birth. But the painful bit. It was like I had PTSD from birth trauma! My birth story went really well actually, I don’t even know what I’m complaining about as so many women have it bad, yet, it was the most traumatic event that had ever happened to me. I had never had that pain before for hours on end. Every movement I did afterwards that hurt triggered a memory of screaming to push Mole out. I could even feel the pain again in my mind.

The Nappy Train

Sadly, I could’t get to grips with how often I had to change Mole’s nappy. She would get so upset if she even just did a little wee in her nappy. For some reason I got this awful feeling of reflection. Spending most of my life in education to finally hold down a good job and now being off work to change countless nappies everyday. I don’t know why but it made me feel like a failure in my job.  It was hard to convince people around me as well that just because i’m off work doesn’t mean that I do nothing but watch TV all day, I am constantly changing nappies and feeding. I am raising a life. It was very hard to accept that being a mum is a full time job. Its the hardest full time job. And I am so grateful now that I can see it is the most rewarding full time job.

Mourning my old life

Writing this now, remembering the thoughts I had about missing my old life has got me in disbelief. I’ve had Mole for 5 months now and I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I am so grateful to have her and the happiness she gives me every single day. Nothing in the world can make me as happy as she can.

But, during the first few weeks I found myself mourning my previous life. My selfish life. Being able to shower when I wanted, sleep all night, go to the gym for two hours and not feel guilty. I would constantly question myself “What the hell have I done?” I’d gone from having it very cushy living with my parents and seeing my friends every weekend to being in a whole new town, not having anyone to help to caring for a newborn baby.

I would constantly question myself “What the hell have I done?”

Tears

I can’t tell you how many tears I shed during the first few weeks. Anything could set me off. The worst was when the midwife at my check up appointments would ask how my mood was and I’d get a horrible lump in my throat and then i’d spend the rest of the session not listening to her properly because I’d be trying my hardest not to cry, then as soon as the session was over I’d just burst into tears. I didn’t want people to think I wasn’t coping because so many people have babies and they all seem to handle it pretty well. I wanted to be like them. A strong mum.

I remember placing Mole on her play mat in front of the shower so I could multi-task watching her and getting to wash my hair. I’d step into the shower and cry. Looking at her whilst crying made me cry even harder because I felt guilty for crying when I was so lucky to have her. I’d get out of the shower and paint a smile on my face so know one could tell tears were streaming down my cheeks 5 minutes ago.

Symptoms of Baby Blues

I started to wonder if I had Post Natal Depression. But I didn’t have all of the main symptoms and some days were good days for me. I came across Baby Blues whilst researching my own symptoms and I fitted into this perfectly.

  • Crying for no reason
  • Irratbility
  • Anxiety
  • Insomnia
  • Poor concentration
  • Sadness
  • Restlessness
  • Impatience
  • Mood changes

It was strange really because after 2/3 weeks I felt normal. Like all of my previous feelings and struggles were just a dream. I started getting out of the house to baby classes and making new mum friends pouring my heart out to them, going on walks breathing in fresh air and began the process of loving my new life.

I wake up every single day now so content and in love. Even through the bad nights of no sleep I look at Mole and smile. I almost hate myself for ever feeling the way I did the first few weeks of her life but sometimes you can’t control what is going to happen. Hormones have a huge role to play too and i’ve accepted that I can’t blame everything on myself.

I LOVE being a mummy.

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Woodland Themed Baby Shower

I can remember being so overwhelmed with ideas for a baby shower I just didn’t know where to start! I narrowed down my ideas to wanting something rustic, natural colours…

I can remember being so overwhelmed with ideas for a baby shower I just didn’t know where to start!

I narrowed down my ideas to wanting something rustic, natural colours with pops of pink but, not too over the top yet, girlie and fun ready to celebrate my beautiful baby girl. Yes thats my version of narrowed down lol.

Things I considered before I started planning

A few other points I needed to be aware of was:

  • Will the theme suitable for all ages?
  • Will the theme fit my budget?
  • Will there be enough decorations and favours to make the theme obvious?
  • Will the decorations I plan to get fit into the space okay?

Choosing a Theme

The Woodland Theme fitted perfectly with this and I knew I had plenty of options for decorations and party favours. I had never planned a party before and this one felt extra special to me because it was for my baby, even though she was in my belly, so it had to be just right 🙂 Plus, whilst you’re pregnant with your first, you seem to have all the time in the world to spend hours looking on Amazon at artificial grass and leaves.

https://pinkmole.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/img_0719.mov

Location

The Baby Shower took place in my kitchen and I invited a fair amount of guests so I had to be sure whilst there was enough food, favours and games for everyone it wasn’t too crowded in the kitchen.

I’m one of those very lucky girls who has a big island in the middle of the kitchen. I had always dreamed of this. I knew thats where I want the display and all of the guests can crowd around there plus we have extra seating in the kitchen too.

Decorations

Table Cover

I started of planning my theme by looking for a table cloth. Something green or brown to set the tone. I soon realised that I wouldn’t have even got a table cloth to fit the island. Can baby brain start when you’re pregnant? 

Instead I opted for an artificial grass runner. It was a great idea if I do say so myself. Automatically it set the scene of being outside. It’s also perfect for cutting to size and I liked the width as it didn’t cover too much of the table leaving more room for other decorations.

You can find the Artificial Grass Table Runner here: https://amzn.to/2Pt4fDm  £17.00

As there was still space on the table I used a hanging vine draped over the table, which helped with adding colour and texture.

You can find the hanging vine here: https://amzn.to/2nWdM9o £2.99

I also used bunches of leaves to hang from the TV on the wall so the decorations were not just placed on the table and it tied the whole room together.

You can find the hanging wall vine here: https://amzn.to/2MERC9H £3.99

Alternative Food Placemats

My vision was to have all different tiers of food on logs however, this because pretty pricey. Instead I purchased a few flat log disks to place different food items on. They came in a pack of 20, were rather small but brilliant for holding a mini flapjack or other nibbles!

You can find the Log Disks here: https://amzn.to/2PtD8b1  £3.25

I purchased a natural log slice that was bigger to hold a selection of mini bites on. This looked great and varied the food placing. The natural log effect helped give off the rustic vibe.

You can find the Natural log slice here: https://amzn.to/2wc5hdO  £5.99

For any other food placemats I just used plain old foiled trays that you can get from your local supermarket for pretty cheap!

Table Confetti

One of the biggest decorations for make an impact was the table confetti.

My favourite was the rustic, wooden hearts with “Baby Shower” wrote on them. I sprinkled them all over the artificial grass runner. They also do “Baby Girl” or “Baby Boy” ones too.

You can buy the Wooden Hearts here: https://amzn.to/2MH3Y0W £2.99 for 50.

Other table confetti I used was artificial flowers. I kept the colour scheme of the two flowers white and pink to keep it girlie yet not overdone.

You can find the White Flowers here: https://amzn.to/2N8q21z £0.81

You can find the Pink Flowers here: https://amzn.to/2w3Z8RM £1.79

Finishing Touches

To decorate the nibbles wire toadstools were brilliant. You can bend them to shape in any direction as if they were growing from the ground. The contrasting red colour of the toadstool was very bold compared to the neutral colours of the brownies and flapjacks.

You can find the Wire Toadstools here: https://amzn.to/2ML7IOQ £8.87

Around other food placemats I purchased some Photo Props and mini pine cones. The photo props were great as the pack contained twigs, moss and log slices.

You can find the Photo Prop here: https://amzn.to/2ML5grE £4.59

I found artificial grass animals and they looked really good with the theme! I placed them around the display. When they first arrived I was thinking oh i’m not sure what to do with these but when the display got going they fitted in perfectly.

You can find the Turf Animals here: https://amzn.to/2LgFLcZ   £8.64

Balloons

I filled the floor with pink balloons and had the main balloon attraction was a foiled ballon saying baby hanging from the lights.

You can find the Foiled Baby Balloon here: https://amzn.to/2MHcHjG £2.54

Food

The star of the show was the cake! It bought the whole theme together and it couldn’t have been more perfect. The cake was a total surprise too off my sisters.

I had biscuits from Slattery’s made that were Woodland Themed too!

And Jay’s Mum made the cutest fairy cakes!!

I had hot food on a display elsewhere in the kitchen and kept the sweet food on the display.

The personalised woodland themed chocolates looked great on the display. They tasted great too!

You can find the personalised chocolates here:  https://amzn.to/2ByF0N2 £7.80

Games and Guest Book

My guest book was actually a frame where you signed a cloud and inserted it into the frame. The only problem was that I got Sharpie pens and the ink ran on everyones clouds so I recommend a normal biro pen.

You can find the Guest Frame here:  https://amzn.to/2MIwLC5 £17.99

The Baby Shower games we played were:

  • New mum advice cards
  • How well do you know mum
  • Baby Prediction
  • Pin the dummy on the baby.

Overall the whole day was incredible. I had so much fun planning it for everyone and then putting it all together in the morning with my sister. I couldn’t have asked for a better day and I know my guests had a lovely time too!

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Mole at 4 Months Old

Hello Everyone! Here to give you a Mole update I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHE IS 4 MONTHS OLD!  Where did that time go???? You hear it all the time… “They…

Hello Everyone!

Here to give you a Mole update

I CAN NOT BELIEVE SHE IS 4 MONTHS OLD!  Where did that time go???? You hear it all the time… “They grow so quick”, “they change so quick”, “Make the most of them being a baby”… Everyone was so right and now I have found myself jumping on the bandwagon with the sayings.

This fourth month has been the best by far. I feel our bond is so much stronger and tighter than ever. This is also the month where I have seen the most change with her.

Little Miss Roly Poly

Mole’s favourite thing to do is to play on her play mat, I always lay her down on her back, the next second she just rolled on to her belly! She did it so fast as well I couldn’t believe it 😀 .It has got to the point now where Mole with keep rolling every time she is on her back so I now have to make sure everywhere is fully safe and watch her when I can. It’s not so fun when she decides to keep rolling when I am putting her to sleep in her SnuzPod. I didn’t think there would even be enough room but apparently there is! I have even woke up in the middle of the night and noticed she has rolled.

Mrs Roly Poly can keep her head up for a good while whilst on her front now but after a good 5-10 minutes she starts to tire and I can hear “eh, eeeeh, arr, arghhh, EEHHARGH” coming from her little mouth. She gets so frustrated when she is tired and can’t figure out to roll back over.

Little Miss Greedy

Mole now gets a bowl of Hipp Organic Baby Rice before bed. I know she is ready to start weaning as I am constantly holding a bottle to her mouth. I have choose to wean her gradually as she is only 4 months and I believe the recommendation is 6 months. So far so good. Mole loves her baby rice and she gets so excited when she sees her bowl. Her mouth is open and her legs are kicking everywhere. 😀

Little Miss Chatterbox

I think this is by far one of Mole’s favourite past times. She will literally just lie there gurgling away. It is crazy because I still see her as a little baby and I can’t believe she will have a back and forth conversation. Sure its just gargling but I understand her 🙂 .

For some reason she turns into the biggest Little Miss Chatterbox right before bedtime. It is like she is almost trying to convince me she isn’t tired enough for bed yet haha.

Little Miss Giggles

Along with making different noises I heard her first real, proper, kind of adult like laugh!!! She has only done this the once so far and I have spent every day since doing goodness knows what to get her to do it again. She has her usual giggle noises especially when I tickle her but this laugh she did was so different. It genuinely was one of the best moments of my life hearing it.

Little Miss Sleepy

The 4 month sleep regression has hit us hard. Yes me too, what is sleep? I can put her to bed and she look fast asleep, next minute I am up and down the stairs for her every 40 minutes. Any tips??? When Mole does finally go to sleep it is for two hours then she needs feeding again. She has also become really clingy where she wants to hold my hand until she falls asleep. I know I shouldn’t give in but I cant help think to myself that she will be asleep in 10 minutes if I let her do it. She already has me wrapped around her little finger.

COMMENT below what your baby’s new skills are 😀

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The cure for my baby’s reflux

Oh boy, where do I start with this one. The dreaded word Reflux. From a newborn Mole would continuously cry, scream, all night long. People told me that is what…

Oh boy, where do I start with this one. The dreaded word Reflux.

From a newborn Mole would continuously cry, scream, all night long. People told me that is what newborns are like but I knew that couldn’t be the case with Mole. The type of cry she would do wasn’t her hungry cry or her colic cry, it would mainly happen in the evening and I would literally see every hour of the clock go by night after night. I felt like my soul was leaving my body I was that sleep deprived.

“People told me that is what newborns are like but I knew that couldn’t be the case”

I began to research her cry and came across reflux websites that would also describe other symptoms Mole had but, because I was a first time mum, with no experience what so ever with babies, I thought that is just what babies are like.

Persistent hiccups

From day one in the hospital with Mole I remember holding her and suddenly she got hiccups at only a few hours old. I asked the midwife what I should do and she replied “nothing it is completely normal, maybe just rub her back to comfort her”. So thats exactly what I did, and I never thought anything else of it, every single day when she got hiccups.

Feeding difficulties

I tried my hardest to breastfeed Mole and I lasted for around 7 weeks after that it just didn’t work out for both of us. During breastfeeding Mole would become irritable and keep breaking away from her latch. Sometimes she would start to cry again and the cry would louder and louder. It was heartbreaking to watch and I began to blame myself on being a ‘bad breastfeeder’.

Making the transition to formula milk and feeding Mole through bottles I noticed the same symptom. Struggling with feeding. Constantly turning her head and refusing the bottle or having a small amount of milk and then 10 minutes later wanting another small amount. It got to the point where Mole would start to choke on her feed and then not long after she began refusing her feeds. Her weight wasn’t increasing and I became more and more concerned.

“I began to blame myself on being a bad breastfeeder”

Laying on her back

This was a huge symptom. Every single time I would lie Mole on her back, bam, she would scream her loudest!. I originally had a carry cot on her pram and every single time I placed her in the pram she would scream, but when I would pick her up, she would stop. I use to dread taking her out of the house because I would put her in the pram and listen to her cry but at the time I had no idea it was reflux.

Night feeding her got really hard. She would struggle taking her bottle and then when I put her back in her cot she would cry again. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. One night, I propped her up on my pillow, whilst I had my head in my hands crying and I noticed that she stopped and I was the only one crying now. Being on a slant helped her. I propped her bed up slightly and managed to get some sleep.

Spitting up milk before or after feeds

At first Mole would do small spit ups after her feeds and I didn’t think anything of it as people told me that is normal for babies. When Mole began to take on more milk it got worse. way worse. She would projectile vomit all over. An alarming amount. She would go through numerous clothes changes a day (me too) and get stuck in the viscous circle of crying because of her vomit then crying because she was hungry. I felt so trapped in the house because it would have been so unfair to take her out whilst she was sick after every feed.

My life became an ongoing roundabout of feeding her, cleaning up her sick changing her nappy and then dealing with her shrieking cry 🙁 I could not help but moan about it or become upset.

“I felt so trapped”

Grunting

Mole from birth would always do grunting noises. The grunts use to make me giggle and I would copy them too at her then pull her in for a snuggle. Little did I know this was a reflux symptom.

What is reflux?

Reflux occurs because a baby’s food pipe (oesophagus) is still developing.

As the baby gets older the reflux should stop as the ring of muscle at the bottom of their oesophagus fully develops and stops stomach contents leaking out.

Trying to fix the problem

There are many types of milk formula out there that brands have made specifically for reflux babies. The formula is thicker than normal formula stopping the milk from coming back up. I tried Mole with a popular brand of anti-reflux milk but it did not suit her stomach.

I got told that reflux can occur if your baby has a milk allergy. So I got Mole milk free formula. Bad idea. I went through a nappy a minute. Gross 🙁

The doctors prescribed her with Gaviscon. The same method as the anti-reflux milk, thickening the formula so it is harder to come back up. She was allowed up to 6 sachets of Gaviscon in her bottles a day. Mole was okay with just 4, anymore than that and she would become constipated and cry for hours with that problem. One thing after another 🙁 .

The Gaviscon worked for a few weeks and I thought I had sorted the problem. But her reflux came back, hard!

Going back to the doctor he prescribed Ranitidine. The doctor explained that this will reduce her stomach acid but she became even worse on this medicine. I’m not even giving my time to it writing about it now. Bad, bad, bad.

I didn’t even want Mole to be continuously on medicine either.

The answer

I was back at square one with searching for an answer. The doctor said the next step would be an operation on her stomach and I was determined to try another way before the operation was the answer.

I came across an article that talked about how an Osteopath can help. An Osteopath can give a baby a deep massage loosening any tight muscles and joints. Tight muscles and joints especially around the stomach area can cause reflux. An Osteopath will release all stresses in the baby. Babies with tight muscles are more likely to benefit from the treatment than those who’s ring of muscle at the bottom of their oesophagus  has not developed. If you think about it, a baby has gone through delivery and growing at a phenomenal rate, their body must be tight.

I thought well what the heck, let’s try it. Mole had a 45 minute massage with Rachel and loved every minute! From that night, I took her off all medicine, including her Gaviscon and went cold turkey. NO REFLUX 😀 . The next day I thought no way, surely just a massage can’t have cured her reflux? but day after day Mole was still reflux free. I booked in a couple more sessions with Rachel and still Mole had gone from vomiting every feed to keeping all her feed down.

It seems a lifetime ago I was dealing with Mole’s reflux. Even writing this blog post now I’m shocked remembering what we went through together.

It is beautiful to see Mole at her happiest now and most of all I can leave the house and go to different activities with her without being riddled with anxiety. As selfish as this sounds, I feel like I have my life back.

“I feel like I have my life back”

If your baby suffers from Reflux, please try an Osteopath. It may not work but it is worth a try. It certainly worked for me.

Here is Rachel’s website:

http://www.rachelnealosteopathy.co.uk/ 

I’m sure she would be happy to provide you with more expert advice 🙂

Please note that not all Osteopaths treat babies, I had to check with a few first. I’m so glad I found Rachel, I genuinely don’t know what I would have done without her!

Other Helpful Advice

Upright

Keeping your baby upright for at least half an hour after a feed can help to make your baby more comfortable.

Another change I made was her pram. I got rid of her carry cot and got her a pram that would sit her upright. Taking her out was not an issue anymore and she is so much more comfortable. If I feed her whilst out I do not need to worry about holding her upright for half an hour as she is already sat up right in the pram.

Here is the link for the pram: Stokke Xplory V6

Anti-Reflux Milk

It didn’t work for Mole but I have heard tonnes of positive reviews on anti-reflux milk helping their baby to be more comfortable and to keep their milk down. If you have not tried this, it is definitely worth a go.

Frequent and Small Feedings

Feeding your baby little and often can help. Their stomachs will have less milk to regurgitate decreasing the chance of reflux.

Adding a thickener

Speak to your doctor about what is safe to add to your baby’s milk to thicken it. This will decrease the chances of it being bought back up. I added Infant Gaviscon and it worked brilliantly for a while.

Always speak to your doctor first to make sure your baby is having the best care.

Please SHARE to help other Mummy’s out their find a solution to their baby’s reflux. 🙂

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What is it like to be pregnant in your first trimester?

As it is #NationalBumpDay today it got me reminiscing my days when I lived as a whale, but more so, my first trimester. Especially as my symptoms were not the…

As it is #NationalBumpDay today it got me reminiscing my days when I lived as a whale, but more so, my first trimester. Especially as my symptoms were not the common ones.

Before I found out I was pregnant, I had the feeling I kind of was as it is obvious there is a chance but, I just needed it really confirming to believe it as I had some symptoms but not all so this kept my thoughts in limbo.

Early Symptoms

The first signs I got when pregnant was that I had cramping and twinges in my lower stomach, similar to period pain. This is so hard when you are unsure because you have to wait till after your due period to take the test too so it felt like it could be that time of the month soon.

Bloating

Along with the cramping came the bloating. Again very similar to mensural symptoms. Nobody likes the feel of being bloated, its so uncomfortable. Nothing I was doing was helping the bloating go, such as drinking lot’s of water.

Loss of appetite

I’m unsure whether I just was not hungry or I could not be bothered to make anything to eat. I really would try and avoid all meals, I never felt sick at all I just did not want to eat. This symptom came as a surprise as I believed that when you are pregnant all you want to do is eat!

Fatigue

Urgh. I have never, ever, until now having a 4 month old baby, experienced that level of tiredness before. i didn’t think it was humanly possible to be that tired! I like to think I am a very active person, well at that time, I went from going to the gym every single day, sometimes twice a day, obsessed much? To not being able to stand up whilst having a shower :’) I would get in from work and the first thing I would do would be to lie on my bed and then i’d sleep till the next day. I had ZERO energy!

Sense of Smell

My sense of smell was stronger. I had noticed when I was spraying perfume or going in the kitchen and the smell of the fridge was very strong, to the point where I use to think, “What on earth is in that fridge?!”. By this point of my pregnancy, I became obsessively Googling, pregnancy symptoms to see if I had any similar and this was one that came up! I wonder how many other of you out there got a sense of smell like a Bloodhound?

Pregnancy Tests

Pregnancy tests all differ depending on the brand. Some tests are stronger than others and some tests and more clearer and easier to read than others. I started taking pregnancy tests a few days after my missed period. This is early for your average pregnancy test however, I bought one that said it was sensitive enough to detect my hormone level. The tests said very clearly “not pregnant”. I still felt pregnant by now and there was no sign of my period. I decided to take another test, this time by a different brand where you had to detect two lines in the test. Negative. Before I knew it, I became a pregnancy test addict, I was taking nearly two every day and they all kept on saying negative 🙁 . Whilst researching online, I came across an article that pregnancy tests can be positive but very faint. I gave myself another week and then tried again as my period still did not show up. When taking the tests again, I posted the pictures of them into forums online to see if anyone else could see a line. I even downloaded an app that changes the colour of the lines on the test to be more clear.#desperate 

 

 

I took one last test and thought right no more now! I COULD SEE IT! a very, very, very faint line! And that was it, the start of my new life began. I was growing a little baby Mole inside my belly the whole time 😀

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Introducing Molly Mole

Molly  (Mole)   Born on 26th March 2018 at 4:29am 7.11 lbs of amazingness!!! 😀 As I am writing this she is 16 weeks old and time is flying far…

Molly  (Mole)

 

Born on 26th March 2018 at 4:29am

7.11 lbs of amazingness!!! 😀

As I am writing this she is 16 weeks old and time is flying far too quick. I never realised when people use to tell me to cherish every moment because they are all grown up before you know it, how fast that actually was 😮 !

I am guilty of snapshotting her every day, I have even had to pay for extra iCloud storage 😮 . Scrolling through my camera feed in awe of her forever changing face, she’s leaving the newborn baby look now and becoming more like the babies on the adverts you see on TV. Imagine if adults we aged that quickly? Oh no I hope I don’t. 

 

Her eyes are still blue but slowly changing green/brown. She has a coloboma in her right eye at the front and at the back. The doctor described it bluntly as two holes in her eye. This is developed from the first few weeks of her in my belly. The iris forms in a circle and basically the circle did not close. Mole is under tests for her vision, but as she is so small, we won’t find out how strong her vision is in that eye until she can tell us herself.

Her hair is very light brown and some days she decides to be auburn. Although looking at her now she is pretty bald. Where did all her hair go? It’s okay Mole, Mummy is losing her hair too. Thanks postpartum hair loss. 

Molly has found her voice the past two weeks and spends most of her spare time now gurgling and screaming away. I even heard her laugh for the first time yesterday. IT WAS MY FAVOURITE MOMENT IN LIFE EVER. I frantically scream her Daddy to come upstairs to listen too 😀 .

Molly’s  hobby’s are flying around as an aeroplane, she literally screams with joy and then lets dribble fall out all over me and her dad depending on who is holding her up. She has recently taken an interest in toys now, mainly rattles and textured books. It is so heart warming watching her play.

Her favourite thing in the entire world is a fluffy pink blanket from Aldi. She clings on to it everywhere and sometimes won’t sleep without it. I dread putting it in the wash incase she doesn’t like it anymore once its clean. i’ve convinced myself this, Maybe its a subconscious reason not to add an extra item to the forever over flowing washing basket.

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