Tag: 2 under 2

Two under two | What it is really like

Two months of having my gorgeous little squish Frankie. And two months in on being a mum of two under two. What is it like you ask? Well, I am…

Two months of having my gorgeous little squish Frankie. And two months in on being a mum of two under two.

What is it like you ask?

Well, I am here now to explain how I am truly finding life…

The first few daystwo under two

The first few days felt easy for me. I am not sure if it was because I was running off adrenaline or going from 0 to 1 felt so much harder than the jump 1 to 2.

I struggled with motherhood first time around. This was one of those niggly thoughts I would torment myself with during my second pregnancy. Asking myself over and over, “will I struggle again?”.

With Molly, everything came as a complete shock. I guess you could say I lived a very selfish life before becoming a mum. After having all the time in the world to myself to suddenly having zero time for myself. I use to spend days mourning my “old” life.

Fitting Frankie into my life felt like that missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle was finally found.  I felt nothing but pure joy. I got to experience love at first sight and I was lucky enough to feel that rush of emotions. two under two

New mum and loneliness

A few weeks in, feeling extremely overwhelmed got the better own me.  I felt extremely trapped and lonely. Having a baby shows who your real friends are. Those friends that drop everything to come and see you. Those friends that will drive over an hour to come and congratulate you. So dealing with a new addition and all the overwhelming feelings of being a new mum again is hard enough, but, you also have to deal with the realising who you thought cared about you don’t. That goes for family too.

Personally, I find it challenging to be out and about with both of them on my own. Mole hates the pram and wants to run the opposite way. I’ve found that short trips are helping. It’s nice to do simple trips and see adults out and about.

Playing Super Mum

The first few days you really do try and do it all. I was fighting against myself to let go of the jobs I was so use to doing. I would wake up at daft o clock to rush into see Molly, for when she first wakes up in the morning after being up all hours of the night. I tried to take them both to soft play on my own at 9am on a Monday morning. I wouldn’t go to bed until all the clothes in the washing basket were ironed and put away. I could go on and on at all of the stuff I was trying to do.

It is so easy to forget that when you only had one, there was more time for washing or more time for the extra 10 minutes in a shower. Not that I am incapable as a Mother not being able to do it all. I just don’t have the same time.

Once the all nighters became a regular occurrence, I genuinely felt my body was breaking down on me. I knew it was time to let the washing slide, not be on top of emptying the dishwasher and take it easy with trying so hard to get out of the house with two on my own.

The hardest part to deal with, has been letting Jay take care of some of Molly’s jobs. I have looked after her and been present for so much of her life. I had full control in knowing what she needed and it is scary letting someone else take the ropes. I battle with thinking she won’t like me as much anymore or will she think I prefer Frankie over her. But accepting or asking for help will make you feel so much better.

The new routine

two under two

I use to tell everyone how easy it is having two under two as Frankie slots into Molly’s routine. He did at first. But trying to care for a newborn and a toddler requires a whole new routine.

If you are like me and do not like change, you will understand how hard this part was for me. I kept bath and bed times the same for Molly. I am not as strict on the times. Before I would make sure she was having her 10:00am nap dot on, now, if I am feeding Frankie at that time, I am not going to stress myself out that she is going to become over tired and not go down.

It felt inconvenient trying to look after Frankie with keeping Molly’s routine the same. He is now slowly getting his feeding times the same or his naps and it has been far easier to slowly change Molly’s routine into fitting in with Frankie.

Bath and Bed Time Madness

My most asked question is: “What do you do at bath and bedtime when on your own?”

two under two

Answer: Tea starts at 4:30pm. This gives me time to make it without a hungry toddler screaming at me. Molly is in her highchair watching TV eating a fruit starter whilst I feed Frankie.

After tea, Molly goes straight upstairs with me and Frankie. Molly plays in the playroom whilst I get both of their outfits ready for the next day and their pyjamas for after the bath.

Molly goes in the bath first at around 6:00pm. Frankie sits next to me in his Angel Care bath seat. Depending on Molly’s mood, after her bath she either goes straight to bed or stays up helping me bath Frankie and we all ready a story together afterwards.

Frankie goes back downstairs for another feed and usually naps until I take him up to bed at 11:00pm.

(Update: I am now bathing Frankie at 8:00pm and then putting him straight to bed)

Happiness

With all that said above, there is no happiness like it. Sure days are twice as hard, nights are twice as hard and life becomes twice as hard. But, life becomes even better than you thought imaginable. Seeing your two children bond with each other will make your heart feel like it is going to explode!

I would not change my life for the world. I am so happy!

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I just wanted to throw a little honesty out there as it is okay to admit life can be hard as well as being the best.

 

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First Trimester with a 1 year old

Considering I have been pregnant before, I assumed that the first trimester of pregnancy would have been similar to that experience. I was wrong… First Trimester with Mole My first…

Considering I have been pregnant before, I assumed that the first trimester of pregnancy would have been similar to that experience. I was wrong…

2 under 2 pregnancy

First Trimester with Mole

My first trimester with Mole seemed to drag on for ages! I found out when I was 4 weeks pregnant and I went for a scan at 6 weeks and saw my little Mole Bean on the screen. I waited to tell my family after 12 weeks and to my that felt like half a year.

My symptoms were mainly fatigue. I had never felt tiredness like it. To the point where standing up in a shower was too much.

Everything else was a breeze. I had gone shopping and got cute baby items and took bump photos every single day. I would wear tight clothes in the hope of being able to show off my pregnancy bloat as if I was 30 weeks pregnant haha.

First Trimester with Baby Number 2

My experience this time has been different. I found out when I was 9 weeks pregnant by taking a test, then I went for a private scan at 10 weeks. Even this experience was new to me. I actually was surprised by a little baby waving and somersaulting around on the screen and feeling shocked that the little baby was in my belly. I never got that feeling with Mole as she was scanned to early and we went for private scans nearly every week, so we could she her gradually develop. That’s when this pregnancy really hit me it was real.

That’s when this pregnancy really hit me it was real

2 under 2 pregnancy

The symptoms this time around have been very hard. The nausea was almost unbearable. And a completely different story having a baby turning one to look after. All I wanted to do was lie down as any movement made me feel like throwing up.

I don’t think this time around I have allowed myself to be tired and take a break. Having a one year old is hard work. Mole wants to be constantly entertained and in between all of that, she has to be changed and fed. As soon as she would go for her nap, I wouldn’t be able to relax as the house looks like it has been tipped upside down. Once I switch the hoover on thats it, i’m still cleaning an hour later.? Thanks Mrs Hinch.

I don’t think this time around my boyfriend has had a full understanding of my tiredness either. As I don’t work it can be seen as if I literally get to sit around watching TV all day which could not be further from the truth. Sometimes I feel I could catch more of a break if I was back at work!

Bad news

I received bad news at one of my scans which was I had a haemorrhage, where the placenta had started to come away from the wall. I was told to be on bed rest for a few weeks so they could monitor if the bleed has gone down rather than got bigger. Obviously bed rest with a one year old was not going to happen. I did try to stay in as much as possible with Mole and it was as if she knew at times because she was so good for me. The best thing for Mole whilst I have been in my first trimester is her baby classes. There is so much for her to do at them, I can see how happy she is and by the time her classes have finished she is ready for a nap. So there has been less pressure on myself entertaining her for the full day.

Gym

As most of you know, one of my biggest hobbies is the gym. The gym for me is “my time”. Hearing I was to be on bed rest did not feel great. I had to take some time off but then was back at it after the good news. This pregnancy is different as I’m not loving my tummy getting bigger. I have probably only taken 2 photos so far and I am 16 weeks. It feels a little strange to get my head into this new chapter as I was well into my post-partum fitness goals.

Hunger

This time, I have been SO HUNGRY! Omg, I just do not feel full. Ever. Poor Mole, I even start to pick at her food whilst she is taking so long to eat it. I am out of control. My last pregnancy, one of my biggest symptoms was having no appetite. I couldn’t look at any type of food and feel hungry. This time wow, even broccoli or salad gets my tastebuds going.

Time

Wow 16 weeks already. Time is flying! To the point where I can’t keep up with it. Every time I go for an appointment or scan, I feel like it was only just yesterday since being there. Im super lucky to have Mole in nursery because appointments can happen at the shortest of notice sometimes and I have family here who could baby sit her whilst i’m gone.

Mole

My life with Mole is so good now. I feel very blessed. I get a little anxious that I may change how good things are between us in a negative way. I hope she enjoys being a big sister. When I go out shopping, I can’t bring myself to buy anything for the second baby as I get guilty not buying anything for Mole.

I have a private scan booked this week to hopefully find out the gender of the baby. I feel like this time around it’s going to be a boy. Once I have found out, I know i’ll be on the baby train looking at nursery decor and clothes.

Thanks for reading

Zoe xx

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