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Toddler Temper Tantrums

Crying, screaming, kicking, breath holding, hitting, kicking and back arching. Do any of those sound familiar in terms of your toddlers behaviour? They do to me! Since Mole has turned…

Crying, screaming, kicking, breath holding, hitting, kicking and back arching. Do any of those sound familiar in terms of your toddlers behaviour? They do to me!

Toddler tantrum help

Since Mole has turned 1, I have noticed a big shift in her behaviour. She will display a temper tantrum more frequently and although this is normal child development behaviour, I do feel like I need to learn and understand how to behave myself in the temper tantrum situation to stop it escalating out of hand.

I have done a lot of research in this and asked for all of your advice on instagram and I have had some incredible tips. I am already starting to see huge improvements in Mole’s behaviour.

So what can we do?

Understanding the temper tantrum

Toddlers display a temper tantrum from the ages of 1 to around 3. They are just as common in boys as they are girls…This has stopped me from using my favourite excuse: “It’s because she is a girl, they are divas compared to boys”.

Some children can display a tantrum more frequently than other children. You may be lucky and your child rarely has one.

The F Word

I have seen this word cropping up a lot whilst I have been doing my research into temper tantrums.

Frustration.

Frustration seems to be key to what this whole temper tantrum malarkey is all about. Toddlers are still developing their language, so they can’t always ask or communicate exactly what they want. This maybe that they want to go into a different room or be in need of a parent. It can also be that they are just over tired or hungry.Toddler tantrum help

“I do it!”

The hardest part is, as a parent, you can sense danger. So when your toddler is walking/crawling where they shouldn’t and you go to stop them from doing so, they don’t understand why and become frustrated that you are stopping them.

There is also the power struggle of wanting their own independence and learning for themselves. When toddlers discover that they actually can’t do everything themselves they may (in Mole’s case always) display a tantrum.

The experience of not being able to communicate can be tough for a toddler. But there is light at the end of the tunnel. As their language skills start to develop and improve, tantrums will start to decrease.

Going Wrong

I have been thinking where I may have been going wrong with the whole tantrum situation. Then it hit me. I have spent far too much time trying to to deal with the tantrum when it is happening and not enough time preventing the tantrum. I just assumed that tantrums are inevitable and there is nothing I can do about it. Which is true to an extent but, still these prevention tips have helped us cut down the number of tantrums.

6 Tips for preventing a tantrum

  1. Distraction. Take your toddler else where into a different room for something new to focus their attention on. Swap whatever they are not allowed to have with something they can have and make it sound really exciting and amazing. Start a different activity with them if they can’t do they activity they currently want to do.
  2. Hands off! I keep any ornaments or valuables completely out of reach now. At first, I wanted Mole to understand that she was not allowed to touch the vase, but realistically, I was asking too much of her and got sick of myself telling her “no” and dealing with the tantrum when all I had to do was just move the vase out of her reach.
  3. Routine. Having a routine helps to understand when your child is going to be hungry and tired. If it is around your child’s usual nap time, don’t expect to take them food shopping and have a pleasant time. Respect their limits.
  4. Responsibility. This one came very useful to me when I was a teacher. The more responsibility I gave to my students the more they respected me and felt like they had control. Offering your toddler a choice will help them to feel they have control and you won’t be confronted by the power struggle. Obviously, choose your choices wisely. Good examples are “Do you want a bath first or to brush your teeth first? Both will still get done, but, they will have more of a sense of controlling the situation rather than being told to do so.
  5. Positive reinforcement. Praise, praise praise. I can not stress this enough. Toddlers understand behaviours and actions they display will result in attention. Be sure to really emphasise on the good attention with them, by really praising their good behaviour and give as little attention as possible to their negative behaviour.
  6. Choose your battles. I noticed that I was becoming Nagging Nancy. It was just too much. Being so strict meant that everything through out the day was becoming a battle with Mole. By choosing my battles I have made more of an impact with her understanding what she is forbidden to do.

5 Tips for what to do when your toddler displays a tantrum

I was mortified when Mole started to display her tantrums one after the other in public. Especially in places that were really quiet and I felt like all eyes were on me to “sort” my child out. Not only that, tensions between my partner and I began to rise. Tantrums can be inevitable and it is all part of growing up, so no matter how much preventing you can do, one will still occur. Here are some tips on what to do when your toddler is having a temper tantrum meltdown.

  1. Stay calm. Easy said than done. I get so stressed out when a tantrum occurs I start to lose my head myself. Your job is to try and calm your toddler down, so you need to remind yourself to stay calm too as hard as that can be. Toddler tantrum help
  2. What is the tantrum really about? Understanding what the real problem is will help you to find a solution quicker. Is it that they are actually tired and need a nap? Or perhaps they are in pain with their teeth?
  3. Different tantrums need different solutions. Does your toddler is want something they are forbidden to have? try to not over explain why and move onto a new activity quickly. If your toddler is wanting attention from their mum or dad, try to ignore them. Is your child is throwing a tantrum because they are in pain? Then comfort them.
  4. Follow through. Mole’s favourite tantrum to have is one where she doesn’t want to complete a task that she has to do, such as eating her dinner. Let them have their tantrum but, ignore them as much as possible, then come back to the task once they are calm and try again. Following through will make them understand that they will not get away with it.
  5. Safety. If their safety is at risk and they are displaying a tantrum because they want to carry on, be firm. Take them away from the situation and use a stronger tone of voice. Never give in on safety. Older toddlers can sit on a time out step for a few minutes.

3 Tips on what to do with your toddler after they have a tantrum

  1. Do not give in. If they display the same behaviour for the same reason, you are going to have to be strong and not undo all the work you have done before. Eventually they will learn but they will 100% test you first.
  2. Make the most out of a bad situation. Try and reward their good behaviour. e.g. “Mole, what a good girl for calming down.” or” Thank you for playing with this toy”.
  3. Love. Once everything is calmed down it is extremely important to show your toddler affection. Give them a cuddle and let them know you love them. They will know they have just been naughty so will be feeling very vulnerable. This will not show that you are giving in to their behaviour.

 

I hope you find this useful and remember, as your child gets older they will begin to grow out of their tantrums.

 

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10 things no one tells you about childbirth

When I was pregnant I would spend my time researching everything to do with childbirth. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything. Nothing was going to surprise me…

When I was pregnant I would spend my time researching everything to do with childbirth. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything. Nothing was going to surprise me when the time would come to go to the hospital. I would even spend nights watching One Born Every Minute so I was clued up on different scenarios.

But, from my experience there was 10 things no one told me about childbirth. I wonder if you agree with them too!

1.You do not rush to the hospital

From the first moment I experienced my first contraction I expected that my baby was about to come within 5 minutes. The race to the hospital was on! Wrong. You have to time your contractions until they are the correct lengths and time apart. This can take hours! I waited all day and when I turned up barely being able to walk, the hospital still wanted to send me back home.

2. Waters don’t always gush

In films whenever a lady’s water breaks there is the biggest gush of water leaving a pool on the floor. Not always the case. Some women only experience a little trickle of their water breaking. That’s usually down to the break being at the top of the sac. My waters didn’t even break on their own. The midwife popped them during the final stages of my labour. Other than my baby’s head crowning, it was one of the most painful experiences of my life! The pressure felt like I was going to burst open!

3. It feels like you need to go for a number 2

Is this TMI? I don’t know? But it’s true! No one told me this! When your contractions start it can feel like you need to go to the toilet. I kept going to the toilet but nothing was happening because that’s just how going into labour felt. I was also really embarrassed at the time thinking I had an off stomach that had come completely at the wrong time!

4. The waiting game

Labour can last for ages and ages. I was in labour for 12 hours. Whilst you are there on the hospital bed in absolute agony, whoever is by your side will be watching TV, eating crisps and just chilling. The time for you passes by and you are so focused on breathing techniques. But your birthing partner will feel the process is lasting a lifetime.

5. Placenta delivery

I knew after delivering a baby you have to then deliver your placenta. What I didn’t know what how painful this is. I also didn’t know that this can lead to more complications. Even after having a natural birth, you could still go to theatre to deliver the placenta.

6. Stitches

Ouch. I don’t have to tell you how much this hurts because I’m sure you can imagine. I had no idea that I was going to be lay down with my legs open for a good 40 minutes whilst the midwife figured out how to stitch up my complicated tear.

7. Blood

I was not prepared for the amount of blood loss. Even after birth. You will go through mummy pads as much as your newborn will go through nappies.

8. Birth plan goes out the window

You have no control and there is no point getting your hopes up. You have to go with the flow and trust your midwife. If you can get a say then brilliant. But do not be disheartened when things do not go exactly how you want.

9. Feeding your baby after birth

As a first time mum, I was unaware of how often to feed and how long for. During antenatal classes I learnt how to breastfeed. Daft right? I didn’t even have a baby to practice with. I assumed as soon as I had given birth I would begin to breastfeed. Little did I know that me and my baby would both need practice. And well, even after practice we both couldn’t get it. That’s okay! Other methods of feeding your baby are available with NO judgement. Just do what works best for YOU.

10. Pure emotion

People talk about how it is the best feeling in the world to give birth to your baby and that is so true. But I couldn’t believe the range of emotions felt. You can go from being scared to happy pretty quickly. Even after you have given birth you still feel overwhelmed with emotions.

Let me know what people didn’t tell you about childbirth!

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10 things about Mole

Get to know Mole! I thought I’d share with you 10 different things about my lovely, little Mole so you can get to know her a little bit more πŸ˜€…

Get to know Mole!

I thought I’d share with you 10 different things about my lovely, little Mole so you can get to know her a little bit more πŸ˜€

  1. Her favourite food is Cauliflower Cheese Puree. Its the one food I can always guarantee she will eat even on her fussy days.
  2. She’s a nosey parker. Whenever we are in restaurants or cafes, she always has to swivel her head and watch what everybody else is doing.
  3. Mole has a webbed toe. It is her little toe and i’m not sure what to do about it really. We have had the option for it to be separated but at the moment its not bothering her so I have left it be.
  4. Mole is obsessed with my iPhone which has resulted in her getting a pretend VTech mobile off her Grandma
  5. Her favourite song is Charlie and the Numbers from BabyTV. Even if I just sing the first number she smiles.
  6. Her first word was Mama ❀️ and her second word was Dada.
  7. When we went to Chester Zoo her favourite animal was the giraffe. She was mesmerised by how big they were.
  8. Mole has visited 2 other countries. France when she was 6 weeks old and Majorca when she was 4 months old. Very lucky baby.
  9. Mole hates peas. HATES them.
  10. When Mole use to go in the sunlight she would always squint her eyes like a little Mole and her nickname stuck even more.
  11. Ok, I know I said 10 things but I couldn’t miss this one off… Jay and I rarely call her Molly. If it’s not Mole, Moley or Mole rat then it’s Suzie because we think she looks like a Suzie.

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Mum Beauty Tips | Perfect Flawless Base For Makeup

Whether you are pregnant, a new mum or you have been a mum for a while now you can’t help but look at past photos of yourself and wonder what…

Whether you are pregnant, a new mum or you have been a mum for a while now you can’t help but look at past photos of yourself and wonder what happened.

When morning arrives after another sleepless night, you have to get up and carry on as normal.Β  Including attempting to look like your old self.

Honestly, there is a part of me that does not care as much about my appearance as I use to,Β probably down to time. But when I do make an effort to wear makeup I want it to look perfect.

I have worked as a Makeup Artist for Bobbi Brown. To achieve a great makeup application is all down to the base and what products you use on your skin. I now spend more time applying skin care than applying my makeup.

My Skincare Routine for a flawless base

After many years of serial buying skincare products I have now found my holy grails. As a mum, I keep my skincare routine as minimal as possible. I use products that make a difference quickly so I have more time with my baby than getting ready.

I have to thank the lovely lady at Clarins. One shopping trip day, I walked into the store and she asked if I was okay. I poured my heart out whining about how crap I felt, because of all of the sleepless nights with Mole.

I’m usually put off by the sales pitches at the stores however, I gave in and bought everything she suggested to make my skin look awake and flawless under make-up.

I am so glad I did. My drained, tired, lifeless new mummy skin has gone.

Step 1

Clarins Multi Active Eye Cream (Β£35)

The cyro-metalic tip is ultra cooling under the eyes. Applying it feels instantly refreshing and the cooling tip helps to reduce puffiness.

One of the main ingredients is Teasel. Which has been proven to reduce dark circles and puffiness caused by fatigue and stress.

I have found that my concealer lasts longer when I wear an eye cream. I love how this eye cream is not too oily. An oily eye cream will cause your concealer to crease and define your under eye wrinkles even more.

Step 2

Clarins Multi Active Face Cream (Β£42)

My skin is combination. I get a very oily T-Zone which drives me crazy. I have tried moisturisers for dry skin as the rest of my face is dry but, they have been too rich for me. My makeup would slide off through out the day.

Moisturisers for oily skin have not been successful on me either. They are not hydrating enough. My makeup would stick to dry patches on my face enhancing my blotches.

The consistency of the Clarins Multi Active Face is lightweight. I barely feel it sitting heavy on my skin. It leaves a velvety finish allowing my foundation to glide on smoothly.

Step 3

Booster Energy (Β£15)

This is a highly concentrated formula. It feels like a hybrid between an oil and a serum. I either mix it into my moisturiser or apply straight after.

Clarins Booster Energy is formulated with Ginseng extract, a legendary Chinese medicinal plant known for thousands of years for its stimulating properties that help to re-energize your skin, minimize signs of fatigue and revive radiance.

My skin instantly feels hydrated and fresh. I love how there is no greasy residue afterwards.

I would love to hear what your favourite skin care products are for a flawless make-up base!

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xxx

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What you didn’t know about your baby’s feet that can relax a crying or fussy baby

  According to reflexology experts, massaging your baby’s feet in specific areas can settle an upset or fussy baby. Reflexology is a natural pain relief that is done by massaging…

 

According to reflexology experts, massaging your baby’s feet in specific areas can settle an upset or fussy baby.

Reflexology is a natural pain relief that is done by massaging pressure points throughout the body to relieve pain.

Sounds crazy right? Like how can a massage on the feet calm my baby down? Won’t it just agitate my baby more?

I came across this idea when I was researching different ways to help Molly’s reflux and noticed that when she was having a fussy day or she was crying more than usual and nothing I normally do to try and soothe her worked, this method had an immediate impact.

For it to work, I bathed Molly first. This is one of her usual ways she likes to calm down. The warm water encourages blood flow to her feet which makes the massage more effective.

Different points in the foot work for different areas of your baby’s body. If your baby has trouble with a specific area, then you can focus your massage on that area. It may take a few tries to get use to it but keep at it! Trust me.

Pelvis

Babies grow at an unbelievable rate! You know yourself, you look at them one day and the next they have doubled in size. Growing at a fast rate can cause pain in their hips as some areas of their body grows quicker than other areas.

To solve this problem: Rub your baby’s heel.

Rubbing the heel area can help babies if they suffer from upset stomachs or constipation too.

Upper and Lower Abdomen Pain

Massaging the space in the middle of your baby’s foot and the pads of their feet can help problems with heartburn, indigestion and constipation.

Massaging the middle of the foot and heel will help problems with bloating and painful gas.

Stomach Pain

Massaging the center of the foot just below the pads of the feet where the arch begins will help to solve the problem of upset tummies, tightness and spasms.

How can massaging the middle of a foot help with stomach pain I asked myself?

Well, the center of the foot is a direct link to a collection of nerves between the lungs and stomach called the Solar Plexus.

Chest

Massaging the pad area below your baby’s toes and above the arch can help with congestion in the chest and coughing problems.

Apply a gentle pressure and massage in a circular motion for this to work.

Sinus Pain

We all know how horrible Sinus pain is, well that is if you have suffered from it before. Imagine how a baby feels when suffering from Sinus pain when they are new to the world and have never experienced anything like it before. πŸ™

To help, apply a gentle pressure and massage the center underside of your baby’s toes. Instant relief πŸ™‚

Tooth Ache

Saving the best till last. Massaging the very tips of your baby’s toes can help to ease the pain of tooth ache. When your baby is teething you feel helpless in being able to cure their pain. You give them Calpol but sometimes it is nice to have a natural pain relief remedy for teething babies.

Massaging the tips of their toes can help to distract your baby from the pain too and the massage can even be done when your baby is asleep.

Always remember, serious issues with your baby need to be consulted by your doctor. Reflexology is a great way to help with everyday issues and bond with your baby. Give them a go and see how they feel πŸ™‚

Happy massaging!

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