Category: Pregnancy

New Sibling: Preparing your toddler

The first time around, when you bring home your newborn, you are focused on figuring everything out together. Just you and them. The second time around is a little different….

The first time around, when you bring home your newborn, you are focused on figuring everything out together. Just you and them.

The second time around is a little different. As you have a toddler to contend with. You need to make sure that they are comfortable with the new addition to the family and they have an understanding on what is going on.

introducing a newborn to a toddler

I’m no expert, but, Mole seems to be so content with her baby brother, that I thought u’d share with you some tips we did prior to Frankie’s arrival and how we introduced them both.

Tips to introduce your toddler to your newborn during pregnancy

Role Play

Whilst pregnant with Frankie, I gave Mole a baby doll to play with. We was lucky really as she really took to the doll. Together I would teach her how to care for the doll by feeding it a bottle and loving it with kisses and cuddles but most importantly being gentle. If Mole wasn’t interested in the doll that day, then I would pay no attention to it and just leave Mole to play with toys she wanted to instead.introducing a newborn to a toddler

Talking to my tummy

We would have fun and point at my tummy and say “baby” so Mole would get some understanding that there was a baby inside my belly. When Frankie was kicking, i’d let Mole feel his kicks and say “baby”. I doubt she truly understood I had an actual baby inside me but it was a fun bonding session.

Tips to introduce your toddler to your newborn

The first introduction

Personally, I didn’t want Mole present at the hospital. I don’t think its the place for a toddler running around, and I knew I would not have the energy to deal with tantrums if she played up. I wasn’t too sure on how my delivery was going to go too, so I made sure to have childcare in place. It was good to spend time with Frankie getting to know him and as the first few days of a newborn is demanding, I was able to give him my full attention. That being said, it was super hard not to see Mole for a couple of days because I rarely leave her.

Finding Baby

To make the introduction fun for Mole, we turned it into a game of finding baby. Frankie was asleep and settled in his bed so me and Mole went on the hunt for him. When she found him, it must have felt rewarding for her. turning the whole experience into a positive one. The main reason I did this was so she didn’t feel replaced as she might of if I was holding him when she first saw him.introducing a newborn to a toddler

Rewarding good behaviour

Whenever Mole was positive towards Frankie by kissing him or being gentle, we would be really over the top with saying “well done” making her feel like she was being a very good girl and giving her lot’s of attention for the right behaviour.

Solo time together

Mole was use to seeing me alone without Frankie. It had always just been me and her. I felt that it was still important to give her that same experience when possible. I would either do her bedtime one night just me and her or whilst Frankie was napping, we would read books together or do Arts and Crafts.

A lending hand

I really include Mole when it comes to changing Frankie. I ask Mole to get me his nappy or if she wants to sit and help. Obviously if she isn’t interested I would never force her, but she actually seems to find it fun and loves the responsibility.

On nights where i’m solo parenting, I bath Mole first and then bathe Frankie. During Frankie’s bath, I ask Mole if she wants to come and help wash him. Or ask her to choose a book for the bedtime story.

introducing a newborn to a toddler

You will always have that fear during your second pregnancy if you will be able to give both your children the attention they need. The answer is yes you will. You will find your own way of making it work.

If your toddler seems to not be interested when you introduce them to their new sibling. Don’t force anything. Give them time and continue to stick to your routine and give them both praise and attention.

 

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First and second pregnancy: Differences I’ve noticed

No two pregnancies are the same however, in my mind, I still believed that the whole pregnancy experience would be similar. But I was wrong. The second time around, everything…

No two pregnancies are the same however, in my mind, I still believed that the whole pregnancy experience would be similar. But I was wrong. The second time around, everything has been different.

Here is how:

comparing two pregnancies

Finding Out

The first time around, I find out I was pregnant pretty much straight away. I just had that feeling. Even taking tests that were displaying as negative I still strongly believed I was pregnant.

The second time, I didn’t find out I was pregnant until around 10 weeks. The thought didn’t even cross my mind. I put it down to being so busy all the time with Mole.

Time

Time seems to go so much slower when you are pregnant for the first time. It feels like years waiting for a midwife appointment and counting down the weeks till your next trimester drags on and on. Now, I can not keep up with my midwife appointments. I feel like I have blinked and already it is single figure weeks countdown.

Sickness

My first pregnancy I was lucky enough to not experience morning sickness. This time, i’ve had days where just turning my head would make me want to throw up.

Restcomparing two pregnancies

During my first pregnancy I could take a nap when I wanted or watch a film on the sofa but, oh no, not the second time around. I am running around after Mole at a soft play centre or running up and down the stairs to change her or I am looking like I am on Super Market Sweep trying to get my shopping done before Moles patience time bomb goes off.

Fitness

The advice I was given during my first pregnancy was to “take it easy”. I spoke to a midwife about exercising it was frowned upon. I was in good health and had always exercise so taking the time off did not sit well with me mentally and I gained a lot of weight too. One of the things I said to myself was, if it was to go through a pregnancy again, I want to be as active as possible. When asking midwives now about doing a workout, I received a completely different reaction. A positive one. I have been able to workout without a guilty conscience and thoroughly enjoy feeling healthy and active.

Anxietycomparing two pregnancies

Every little twinge during my first pregnancy I was convinced I was going into labour or something was wrong. This time, I have been able to relax more and after knowing what a contraction really does feel like, I am not rushing down to A&E or ringing my midwife.

Bump Size

I was told that the second time around your bump is usually bigger as your stomach muscles have stretched. As I have been eating healthier and working out during this pregnancy, my bump is no where near as big as it was the first time. I feel like I need to take more photos of the progression as I get so busy with Mole or I don’t have the energy to take any. First time around my camera roll was full of bump photos.

 

 

 

Zoe

xx

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Eating For Two Calorie Myth In Pregnancy

“You can eat for two now!” … hmmm not quite. This is a huge, common response when you announce you are pregnant. It’s like it is used as an excuse…

“You can eat for two now!”hmmm not quite.

Eating for two pregnancy

This is a huge, common response when you announce you are pregnant. It’s like it is used as an excuse to eat whatever you want and how much of that you want. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good treat, and have definitely been treating myself a lot more than I usually would when it comes to food. But, the whole “eating for two” is a myth. Any you may be shocked to find out how many calories it is that you actually need extra whilst growing a baby. The Guardian states that around 15-20% of pregnant women now are overweight or obese.

The old fashioned wayeating for two myths pregnancy

Talking to my mum or grandparents about pregnancy almost turns into a battle of different beliefs. It’s like you can’t mention that you had a work out in the gym to them without their jaw dropping to the floor and you get a lecture about how you should be taking it easy. I even find myself telling them that I only went on a light walk, when really I was squatting my near enough my own body weight on my back as a warm up.

When it comes to diet, they have a strong belief that you should be eating for two. I mean, my baby is currently the size of an avocado. Why would it need a full portion of food?

What you should be eating

According to the NHS, there is no need to eat for two during pregnancy, even if you are expecting twins or triplets. The original idea behind eating for two was to increase your energy.

There is no need to eat for two during pregnancy, even if you are expecting twins or triplets

During the first 6 months of your pregnancy you do not even need to only drink full fat milk, another common myth.  Eating for two pregnancy pink mole

Only in the last 3 months of pregnancy do you need to increase your calories by 200 a day. When you work it out, that isn’t actually a whole lot extra. Most people consume more calories a day than recommended too, without adding in the extra.

It is recommended that you should do at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day. Swimming and walking are a great way to keep fit. If you already are a physically active person like me, you will have more of an idea on how to tone your workouts down. Obviously it isn’t advised that if you have never been inside a gym before to start now and complete a huge workout. You should start off with no more than three 15 minute workouts a week.

eating for two pregnancy pink mole

 

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First Trimester with a 1 year old

Considering I have been pregnant before, I assumed that the first trimester of pregnancy would have been similar to that experience. I was wrong… First Trimester with Mole My first…

Considering I have been pregnant before, I assumed that the first trimester of pregnancy would have been similar to that experience. I was wrong…

2 under 2 pregnancy

First Trimester with Mole

My first trimester with Mole seemed to drag on for ages! I found out when I was 4 weeks pregnant and I went for a scan at 6 weeks and saw my little Mole Bean on the screen. I waited to tell my family after 12 weeks and to my that felt like half a year.

My symptoms were mainly fatigue. I had never felt tiredness like it. To the point where standing up in a shower was too much.

Everything else was a breeze. I had gone shopping and got cute baby items and took bump photos every single day. I would wear tight clothes in the hope of being able to show off my pregnancy bloat as if I was 30 weeks pregnant haha.

First Trimester with Baby Number 2

My experience this time has been different. I found out when I was 9 weeks pregnant by taking a test, then I went for a private scan at 10 weeks. Even this experience was new to me. I actually was surprised by a little baby waving and somersaulting around on the screen and feeling shocked that the little baby was in my belly. I never got that feeling with Mole as she was scanned to early and we went for private scans nearly every week, so we could she her gradually develop. That’s when this pregnancy really hit me it was real.

That’s when this pregnancy really hit me it was real

2 under 2 pregnancy

The symptoms this time around have been very hard. The nausea was almost unbearable. And a completely different story having a baby turning one to look after. All I wanted to do was lie down as any movement made me feel like throwing up.

I don’t think this time around I have allowed myself to be tired and take a break. Having a one year old is hard work. Mole wants to be constantly entertained and in between all of that, she has to be changed and fed. As soon as she would go for her nap, I wouldn’t be able to relax as the house looks like it has been tipped upside down. Once I switch the hoover on thats it, i’m still cleaning an hour later.  Thanks Mrs Hinch.

I don’t think this time around my boyfriend has had a full understanding of my tiredness either. As I don’t work it can be seen as if I literally get to sit around watching TV all day which could not be further from the truth. Sometimes I feel I could catch more of a break if I was back at work!

Bad news

I received bad news at one of my scans which was I had a haemorrhage, where the placenta had started to come away from the wall. I was told to be on bed rest for a few weeks so they could monitor if the bleed has gone down rather than got bigger. Obviously bed rest with a one year old was not going to happen. I did try to stay in as much as possible with Mole and it was as if she knew at times because she was so good for me. The best thing for Mole whilst I have been in my first trimester is her baby classes. There is so much for her to do at them, I can see how happy she is and by the time her classes have finished she is ready for a nap. So there has been less pressure on myself entertaining her for the full day.

Gym

As most of you know, one of my biggest hobbies is the gym. The gym for me is “my time”. Hearing I was to be on bed rest did not feel great. I had to take some time off but then was back at it after the good news. This pregnancy is different as I’m not loving my tummy getting bigger. I have probably only taken 2 photos so far and I am 16 weeks. It feels a little strange to get my head into this new chapter as I was well into my post-partum fitness goals.

Hunger

This time, I have been SO HUNGRY! Omg, I just do not feel full. Ever. Poor Mole, I even start to pick at her food whilst she is taking so long to eat it. I am out of control. My last pregnancy, one of my biggest symptoms was having no appetite. I couldn’t look at any type of food and feel hungry. This time wow, even broccoli or salad gets my tastebuds going.

Time

Wow 16 weeks already. Time is flying! To the point where I can’t keep up with it. Every time I go for an appointment or scan, I feel like it was only just yesterday since being there. Im super lucky to have Mole in nursery because appointments can happen at the shortest of notice sometimes and I have family here who could baby sit her whilst i’m gone.

Mole

My life with Mole is so good now. I feel very blessed. I get a little anxious that I may change how good things are between us in a negative way. I hope she enjoys being a big sister. When I go out shopping, I can’t bring myself to buy anything for the second baby as I get guilty not buying anything for Mole.

I have a private scan booked this week to hopefully find out the gender of the baby. I feel like this time around it’s going to be a boy. Once I have found out, I know i’ll be on the baby train looking at nursery decor and clothes.

Thanks for reading

Zoe xx

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10 things no one tells you about childbirth

When I was pregnant I would spend my time researching everything to do with childbirth. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything. Nothing was going to surprise me…

When I was pregnant I would spend my time researching everything to do with childbirth. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything. Nothing was going to surprise me when the time would come to go to the hospital. I would even spend nights watching One Born Every Minute so I was clued up on different scenarios.

But, from my experience there was 10 things no one told me about childbirth. I wonder if you agree with them too!

1.You do not rush to the hospital

From the first moment I experienced my first contraction I expected that my baby was about to come within 5 minutes. The race to the hospital was on! Wrong. You have to time your contractions until they are the correct lengths and time apart. This can take hours! I waited all day and when I turned up barely being able to walk, the hospital still wanted to send me back home.

2. Waters don’t always gush

In films whenever a lady’s water breaks there is the biggest gush of water leaving a pool on the floor. Not always the case. Some women only experience a little trickle of their water breaking. That’s usually down to the break being at the top of the sac. My waters didn’t even break on their own. The midwife popped them during the final stages of my labour. Other than my baby’s head crowning, it was one of the most painful experiences of my life! The pressure felt like I was going to burst open!

3. It feels like you need to go for a number 2

Is this TMI? I don’t know? But it’s true! No one told me this! When your contractions start it can feel like you need to go to the toilet. I kept going to the toilet but nothing was happening because that’s just how going into labour felt. I was also really embarrassed at the time thinking I had an off stomach that had come completely at the wrong time!

4. The waiting game

Labour can last for ages and ages. I was in labour for 12 hours. Whilst you are there on the hospital bed in absolute agony, whoever is by your side will be watching TV, eating crisps and just chilling. The time for you passes by and you are so focused on breathing techniques. But your birthing partner will feel the process is lasting a lifetime.

5. Placenta delivery

I knew after delivering a baby you have to then deliver your placenta. What I didn’t know what how painful this is. I also didn’t know that this can lead to more complications. Even after having a natural birth, you could still go to theatre to deliver the placenta.

6. Stitches

Ouch. I don’t have to tell you how much this hurts because I’m sure you can imagine. I had no idea that I was going to be lay down with my legs open for a good 40 minutes whilst the midwife figured out how to stitch up my complicated tear.

7. Blood

I was not prepared for the amount of blood loss. Even after birth. You will go through mummy pads as much as your newborn will go through nappies.

8. Birth plan goes out the window

You have no control and there is no point getting your hopes up. You have to go with the flow and trust your midwife. If you can get a say then brilliant. But do not be disheartened when things do not go exactly how you want.

9. Feeding your baby after birth

As a first time mum, I was unaware of how often to feed and how long for. During antenatal classes I learnt how to breastfeed. Daft right? I didn’t even have a baby to practice with. I assumed as soon as I had given birth I would begin to breastfeed. Little did I know that me and my baby would both need practice. And well, even after practice we both couldn’t get it. That’s okay! Other methods of feeding your baby are available with NO judgement. Just do what works best for YOU.

10. Pure emotion

People talk about how it is the best feeling in the world to give birth to your baby and that is so true. But I couldn’t believe the range of emotions felt. You can go from being scared to happy pretty quickly. Even after you have given birth you still feel overwhelmed with emotions.

Let me know what people didn’t tell you about childbirth!

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What is it like to be pregnant in your first trimester?

As it is #NationalBumpDay today it got me reminiscing my days when I lived as a whale, but more so, my first trimester. Especially as my symptoms were not the…

As it is #NationalBumpDay today it got me reminiscing my days when I lived as a whale, but more so, my first trimester. Especially as my symptoms were not the common ones.

Before I found out I was pregnant, I had the feeling I kind of was as it is obvious there is a chance but, I just needed it really confirming to believe it as I had some symptoms but not all so this kept my thoughts in limbo.

Early Symptoms

The first signs I got when pregnant was that I had cramping and twinges in my lower stomach, similar to period pain. This is so hard when you are unsure because you have to wait till after your due period to take the test too so it felt like it could be that time of the month soon.

Bloating

Along with the cramping came the bloating. Again very similar to mensural symptoms. Nobody likes the feel of being bloated, its so uncomfortable. Nothing I was doing was helping the bloating go, such as drinking lot’s of water.

Loss of appetite

I’m unsure whether I just was not hungry or I could not be bothered to make anything to eat. I really would try and avoid all meals, I never felt sick at all I just did not want to eat. This symptom came as a surprise as I believed that when you are pregnant all you want to do is eat!

Fatigue

Urgh. I have never, ever, until now having a 4 month old baby, experienced that level of tiredness before. i didn’t think it was humanly possible to be that tired! I like to think I am a very active person, well at that time, I went from going to the gym every single day, sometimes twice a day, obsessed much? To not being able to stand up whilst having a shower :’) I would get in from work and the first thing I would do would be to lie on my bed and then i’d sleep till the next day. I had ZERO energy!

Sense of Smell

My sense of smell was stronger. I had noticed when I was spraying perfume or going in the kitchen and the smell of the fridge was very strong, to the point where I use to think, “What on earth is in that fridge?!”. By this point of my pregnancy, I became obsessively Googling, pregnancy symptoms to see if I had any similar and this was one that came up! I wonder how many other of you out there got a sense of smell like a Bloodhound?

Pregnancy Tests

Pregnancy tests all differ depending on the brand. Some tests are stronger than others and some tests and more clearer and easier to read than others. I started taking pregnancy tests a few days after my missed period. This is early for your average pregnancy test however, I bought one that said it was sensitive enough to detect my hormone level. The tests said very clearly “not pregnant”. I still felt pregnant by now and there was no sign of my period. I decided to take another test, this time by a different brand where you had to detect two lines in the test. Negative. Before I knew it, I became a pregnancy test addict, I was taking nearly two every day and they all kept on saying negative 🙁 . Whilst researching online, I came across an article that pregnancy tests can be positive but very faint. I gave myself another week and then tried again as my period still did not show up. When taking the tests again, I posted the pictures of them into forums online to see if anyone else could see a line. I even downloaded an app that changes the colour of the lines on the test to be more clear.#desperate 

 

 

I took one last test and thought right no more now! I COULD SEE IT! a very, very, very faint line! And that was it, the start of my new life began. I was growing a little baby Mole inside my belly the whole time 😀

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