Category: Motherhood

What I didn’t expect having two under two

Two under two. Unless you have been through it yourself, honestly, you have no idea how crazy, amazing, chaotic, fun and overwhelming life can be at the same time. I…

introducing a newborn to a toddlerTwo under two. Unless you have been through it yourself, honestly, you have no idea how crazy, amazing, chaotic, fun and overwhelming life can be at the same time. I must admit, I was very naive with my expectations on what life would be like before little Frankie arrived.

Here are my expectations that did not quite go as I thought they would.

  1. The double pram

The minute you find out you are pregnant you are like oh i’m going to need a double pram. I spent hours searching online for the best one. I asked so many mums for their recommendation and the truth is, Frankie is 4 months old now and I’ve used the double pram, which cost over £1000, twice.

The age gap between Mole and Frankie is 18 months. Mole is very independent and as you all know, she hates the pram. I thought the double pram would be the easiest option for when I am out and about solo with them both. However, I’ve found what works best for us, is having Frankie in a baby carrier so I can be more mobile with Mole (running after her without leaving Frankie stuck in a pram on his own). Sometimes I take a stroller for Mole when she is tired or I need her to stay put.

It is much easier going out with them both on the weekend when my partner is off work and one of us can hold Mole’s hand and the other one pushing Frankie in his pram.

My opinion is, if you have a confident walking toddler, try a buggy board first before spending a large amount of money on a double pram. Then if you feel you need a double pram then go ahead. I really recommend theBugaboo Donkey Duo 2. It is not as wide as you think so you can get into doorways ok, you can see them both at the same time and you have easy access to both children quickly. Compared to the tandem pram I previously had for them both, this one is far easier to drive.

2. The double nap timeintroducing a newborn to a toddler

My vision of this was that they would both just nap at the same time everyday. I am so confused why I originally thought this. Or maybe I did know double nap times were like hitting the jackpot and I just didn’t realise how hard the day would be without it.

When you don’t strike with a double nap time, for the whole day you do not stop. You don’t get that 2 minute break for a hot coffee or that half an hour to put the washing and drying on.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love playing music class all day or reading children books to them both, but spending the whole day doing it can leave you clock watching for bedtime.

3. “The dishes can wait” quote

During my first pregnancy I was told “the dishes can wait, the washing can wait etc” so many times. I never listened to this advice. the little energy I had was spent getting the house in order before being back on mama duties again.

So, during my second pregnancy I thought, ahh you know what, this next time around I will take it easier. The house chores can wait and I will enjoy my time more. I was in for a shock.

Yes, you can leave the dishwasher and all of those annoying little jobs however, they catch up with you big time! You soon realise if you have that spare 10 seconds to move the pile of ironing or wipe down the kitchen table you have to take it there and then.

If you end up with a no double nap situation, they last thing you want to do is the cleaning in the evening.

4. The bed time routinebirth story

I assumed they would both fit into having the same bedtime routine together. I completely forgot that whilst Frankie is a newborn, he needs to have a later bedtime that Mole’s 6:30 bedtime. Although now it is easier as Frankie goes to bed at 7:00pm. The first few months, the evenings felt long. I would get Mole bathed and ready for bed then have to start the same process with Frankie again a few hours later.

5. I know what I am doingtwo under two

The second time around, your confidence is stronger. You know what is to come when you go into labour, you have a better idea on when milestones are approaching and in general you do just feel more like “you’ve got this”.

What I did not expect was how no two babies are literally the same! Mole is independent, she loves to play with toys and she developed at a faster pace. Frankie on the other hand, he is not really into toys and would rather be cuddled whilst watching a film together. What worked for Mole does not always work for Frankie.

I have often thought to myself “oh I have no idea what to do.” As each baby is different they need different methods of help. Clearly, I was over confident in thinking that I have had a child before so I know what to do but, that is not the case at all.

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Two under two | What it is really like

Two months of having my gorgeous little squish Frankie. And two months in on being a mum of two under two. What is it like you ask? Well, I am…

Two months of having my gorgeous little squish Frankie. And two months in on being a mum of two under two.

What is it like you ask?

Well, I am here now to explain how I am truly finding life…

The first few daystwo under two

The first few days felt easy for me. I am not sure if it was because I was running off adrenaline or going from 0 to 1 felt so much harder than the jump 1 to 2.

I struggled with motherhood first time around. This was one of those niggly thoughts I would torment myself with during my second pregnancy. Asking myself over and over, “will I struggle again?”.

With Molly, everything came as a complete shock. I guess you could say I lived a very selfish life before becoming a mum. After having all the time in the world to myself to suddenly having zero time for myself. I use to spend days mourning my “old” life.

Fitting Frankie into my life felt like that missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle was finally found.  I felt nothing but pure joy. I got to experience love at first sight and I was lucky enough to feel that rush of emotions. two under two

New mum and loneliness

A few weeks in, feeling extremely overwhelmed got the better own me.  I felt extremely trapped and lonely. Having a baby shows who your real friends are. Those friends that drop everything to come and see you. Those friends that will drive over an hour to come and congratulate you. So dealing with a new addition and all the overwhelming feelings of being a new mum again is hard enough, but, you also have to deal with the realising who you thought cared about you don’t. That goes for family too.

Personally, I find it challenging to be out and about with both of them on my own. Mole hates the pram and wants to run the opposite way. I’ve found that short trips are helping. It’s nice to do simple trips and see adults out and about.

Playing Super Mum

The first few days you really do try and do it all. I was fighting against myself to let go of the jobs I was so use to doing. I would wake up at daft o clock to rush into see Molly, for when she first wakes up in the morning after being up all hours of the night. I tried to take them both to soft play on my own at 9am on a Monday morning. I wouldn’t go to bed until all the clothes in the washing basket were ironed and put away. I could go on and on at all of the stuff I was trying to do.

It is so easy to forget that when you only had one, there was more time for washing or more time for the extra 10 minutes in a shower. Not that I am incapable as a Mother not being able to do it all. I just don’t have the same time.

Once the all nighters became a regular occurrence, I genuinely felt my body was breaking down on me. I knew it was time to let the washing slide, not be on top of emptying the dishwasher and take it easy with trying so hard to get out of the house with two on my own.

The hardest part to deal with, has been letting Jay take care of some of Molly’s jobs. I have looked after her and been present for so much of her life. I had full control in knowing what she needed and it is scary letting someone else take the ropes. I battle with thinking she won’t like me as much anymore or will she think I prefer Frankie over her. But accepting or asking for help will make you feel so much better.

The new routine

two under two

I use to tell everyone how easy it is having two under two as Frankie slots into Molly’s routine. He did at first. But trying to care for a newborn and a toddler requires a whole new routine.

If you are like me and do not like change, you will understand how hard this part was for me. I kept bath and bed times the same for Molly. I am not as strict on the times. Before I would make sure she was having her 10:00am nap dot on, now, if I am feeding Frankie at that time, I am not going to stress myself out that she is going to become over tired and not go down.

It felt inconvenient trying to look after Frankie with keeping Molly’s routine the same. He is now slowly getting his feeding times the same or his naps and it has been far easier to slowly change Molly’s routine into fitting in with Frankie.

Bath and Bed Time Madness

My most asked question is: “What do you do at bath and bedtime when on your own?”

two under two

Answer: Tea starts at 4:30pm. This gives me time to make it without a hungry toddler screaming at me. Molly is in her highchair watching TV eating a fruit starter whilst I feed Frankie.

After tea, Molly goes straight upstairs with me and Frankie. Molly plays in the playroom whilst I get both of their outfits ready for the next day and their pyjamas for after the bath.

Molly goes in the bath first at around 6:00pm. Frankie sits next to me in his Angel Care bath seat. Depending on Molly’s mood, after her bath she either goes straight to bed or stays up helping me bath Frankie and we all ready a story together afterwards.

Frankie goes back downstairs for another feed and usually naps until I take him up to bed at 11:00pm.

(Update: I am now bathing Frankie at 8:00pm and then putting him straight to bed)

Happiness

With all that said above, there is no happiness like it. Sure days are twice as hard, nights are twice as hard and life becomes twice as hard. But, life becomes even better than you thought imaginable. Seeing your two children bond with each other will make your heart feel like it is going to explode!

I would not change my life for the world. I am so happy!

I hope you enjoyed reading this. I just wanted to throw a little honesty out there as it is okay to admit life can be hard as well as being the best.

 

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New Sibling: Preparing your toddler

The first time around, when you bring home your newborn, you are focused on figuring everything out together. Just you and them. The second time around is a little different….

The first time around, when you bring home your newborn, you are focused on figuring everything out together. Just you and them.

The second time around is a little different. As you have a toddler to contend with. You need to make sure that they are comfortable with the new addition to the family and they have an understanding on what is going on.

introducing a newborn to a toddler

I’m no expert, but, Mole seems to be so content with her baby brother, that I thought u’d share with you some tips we did prior to Frankie’s arrival and how we introduced them both.

Tips to introduce your toddler to your newborn during pregnancy

Role Play

Whilst pregnant with Frankie, I gave Mole a baby doll to play with. We was lucky really as she really took to the doll. Together I would teach her how to care for the doll by feeding it a bottle and loving it with kisses and cuddles but most importantly being gentle. If Mole wasn’t interested in the doll that day, then I would pay no attention to it and just leave Mole to play with toys she wanted to instead.introducing a newborn to a toddler

Talking to my tummy

We would have fun and point at my tummy and say “baby” so Mole would get some understanding that there was a baby inside my belly. When Frankie was kicking, i’d let Mole feel his kicks and say “baby”. I doubt she truly understood I had an actual baby inside me but it was a fun bonding session.

Tips to introduce your toddler to your newborn

The first introduction

Personally, I didn’t want Mole present at the hospital. I don’t think its the place for a toddler running around, and I knew I would not have the energy to deal with tantrums if she played up. I wasn’t too sure on how my delivery was going to go too, so I made sure to have childcare in place. It was good to spend time with Frankie getting to know him and as the first few days of a newborn is demanding, I was able to give him my full attention. That being said, it was super hard not to see Mole for a couple of days because I rarely leave her.

Finding Baby

To make the introduction fun for Mole, we turned it into a game of finding baby. Frankie was asleep and settled in his bed so me and Mole went on the hunt for him. When she found him, it must have felt rewarding for her. turning the whole experience into a positive one. The main reason I did this was so she didn’t feel replaced as she might of if I was holding him when she first saw him.introducing a newborn to a toddler

Rewarding good behaviour

Whenever Mole was positive towards Frankie by kissing him or being gentle, we would be really over the top with saying “well done” making her feel like she was being a very good girl and giving her lot’s of attention for the right behaviour.

Solo time together

Mole was use to seeing me alone without Frankie. It had always just been me and her. I felt that it was still important to give her that same experience when possible. I would either do her bedtime one night just me and her or whilst Frankie was napping, we would read books together or do Arts and Crafts.

A lending hand

I really include Mole when it comes to changing Frankie. I ask Mole to get me his nappy or if she wants to sit and help. Obviously if she isn’t interested I would never force her, but she actually seems to find it fun and loves the responsibility.

On nights where i’m solo parenting, I bath Mole first and then bathe Frankie. During Frankie’s bath, I ask Mole if she wants to come and help wash him. Or ask her to choose a book for the bedtime story.

introducing a newborn to a toddler

You will always have that fear during your second pregnancy if you will be able to give both your children the attention they need. The answer is yes you will. You will find your own way of making it work.

If your toddler seems to not be interested when you introduce them to their new sibling. Don’t force anything. Give them time and continue to stick to your routine and give them both praise and attention.

 

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My Birth Story: Frankie

Thursday 12th September, I had a lovely day with Mole. My mum came round and we spent the day baking cakes, doing Arts and Crafts and baking bread. Funnily enough,…

birth storyThursday 12th September, I had a lovely day with Mole. My mum came round and we spent the day baking cakes, doing Arts and Crafts and baking bread. Funnily enough, my mum joked about me going into labour that night because I was non-stop kneading bread and running around after Mole in the garden.

Later that evening, I started to experience a dull, aching pain in my lower back. Not a pain that took my breath away but one where I felt the need to sit down more often. It is completely different when you have a toddler. Your mind is so pre occupied with them that you don’t pay attention to yourself the same.

Knowing I was going into labour

I went to bed feeling okay then at 3:30am I woke up to go to the toilet, as I stood I really felt a tight back pain that seemed to wrap around to my lower stomach. This pain was completely different to any niggles and tightness I’ve felt in this pregnancy before.

I had to make the decision whether to go back to bed and try and get some rest or get ready for the hospital. As I felt the pain come back, I could 100% say it was a contraction. I didn’t want to go back to bed and lie down in case that would have slowed the process down, so I got ready, did my make-up and went downstairs to bounce around on the birthing ball.

At around 4:30am I text Jay to tell him I was going into labour. He sat with me whilst he could time my contractions as by this point it was too painful for me to concentrate timing them myself and they felt very regular. We decided to get Mole up and ready for her stay at her Grandmas, got in the car and dropped her off on route to the hospital.

Heading to the hospitalBirth Story

We arrived at the hospital at 5:45am. I was waddling across the car park and having to keep sitting down in the corridor whilst I had a contraction, as they were too painful to walk through. The maternity ward was upstairs, so we finally got seen at 6:00am.

I was doing my best to stay stood up to help him move lower down. After having a 12-hour labour with Mole, I was doing all that I could to avoid that.

Every time a contraction came, I would breathe in for 10 seconds and then out again for 10 seconds. Keeping focused helped me to stay in control. A lady once told me that she imagined a big red balloon on the sea, every time she breathed in the balloon moved towards her and breathing out the balloon moved away. For some reason, this was all I could concentrate on and I feel it helped me to beat the painkillers and keep my head focused.

When the Midwife examined me, I was shocked to hear her say 9-10cm! I was honestly expecting her to say 3cm!

It was too late for any painkillers and almost too late to run the bath for a water birth. I’m so glad Jay was there to stress to the midwife to run the bath and he helped me walk across as a water birth really helps with the pain.

That excruciating pain hit me and I knew it was time to push.

Frankie is here!birth story

At 6:11am, Friday 13th September, I had Frankie in my arms. This time around, I felt that rush of love straight away. He looked so perfect and I couldn’t wait to get him home to meet his sister. I was also in a lot of shock from my 11-minute labour. Frankie weighed a healthy 8lb 4.

Frankie had his check and all was okay other than his heart murmur and he had the jitters from mucous and the quick delivery. We had to stay in an extra night until he got the all clear.

When pregnant with Frankie, I worried that I’ll be able to love him as much as I love Mole. But, you can. Your heart can stretch even more than you would have ever thought possible!

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My Birth Story: Molly

I remember being pregnant with Mole and as it was my first time going through the experience, when I reached my third trimester, all I was doing was watching births…

I remember being pregnant with Mole and as it was my first time going through the experience, when I reached my third trimester, all I was doing was watching births on the TV or reading birth stories on blog posts.

In my mind, reading everyones birth stories made me feel prepared. Like I knew every possibility that could happen to me. The truth is, when you are in that moment of giving birth, it doesn’t matter how many blogs you have read you still don’t know what you are in for!pink mole birth story

Hitting Full Term 

I had hit 40 weeks and 3 days, already had a sweep and was passing time bouncing around on a yoga ball or dancing. (YouTube labour dance).  I felt completely normal, the house had already been fully nested to the extreme. We have a black Labrador and you would not have even been able to have found one dog hair. Every twinge I felt was nothing out of the ordinary.

That night, I crept into the spare bedroom to enjoy a good starfish sleep. But, I just couldn’t sleep. My eyes were wide open! There is nothing more annoying than when you are absolutely shattered yet you can’t sleep. Especially knowing how sacred sleep was going to be for me soon. I pretty much got about an hour. 

The very early stages of labour

In the morning, my hair was so greasy and frizzy. I just thought I had left conditioner in it from the shower. Then my skin was the same. All greasy and weird feeling. my make-up wasn’t going on right and I looked a mess. Very similar to what I go through when my hormones are all over the place before that time of the month. I rang my mum and told her, there is something not right with me today. Weird how I just knew.

Shortly after I passed my mucous plus. (Gross I know, and maybe TMI for you.) I remember thinking “ohhhhhhh it’s all happening”.

Then, I felt like I needed the toilet. But I couldn’t stop needing the toilet. It was driving me crazy because nothing was happening. I just kept needing it.

I played on the PlayStation for a while (also winning a game of Fortnight…does it still count even if I hid under a bridge for half of the game?) Contractions were definitely present. The hospital told me to wait until they were regular before I dropped in.

I don’t even remember the route to the hospital, but I do remember contracting whilst crossing the road and needing to sit down on the zebra crossing. I couldn’t for the life of me walk through the pain. 

Arriving at the hospital

The staff sent me to a room where I could rest on a bed and eat some food. They told me I was far too smiley to be in hospital just yet so they advised me to go back home. I insisted that I was just a smiley person and this is my awkward, nervous smile but they still said to go home. Whilst putting my coat and shoes on, I then projectile vomited everywhere. This was non stop for a good while.

My labour lasted for 12 hours. I kept on going back and forth from the hot bath they had set up in the bathroom. As soon as I went into the water, it relieved my pain. I highly recommend it to anyone!

The 12 hours dragged on and on. I had my mum and Jay sat watching Homeland eating packets of crips and drinking cups of tea like they were having a great time.

For pain relief I had Pethidine. Oh that was lovely in my legs. Again, I highly recommend it. It just feels like someone has given you a dead leg.

Established Labourpink mole birth story

The midwives had me try all sorts of positions on the bed. I must have looked like some weird origami. I demanded to go back in the bath. I felt way too exposed on the bed and the warmth of the water soothed my pain. 

4:26am the Mole was born. She weight 7,11lbs and looked absolutely beautiful. I was actually stood up in the bath screaming. I have no idea how on tv all the mothers are silent giving birth. One thing I remember was seeing how blue her eyes were and just thinking wow. She is actually gorgeous. They took her pretty quickly to be checked and I was still in the bath like a lump. There was so much blood I thought the placenta had come out!

After Birth

There were still no signs of my placenta making an appearance so the midwife called for help. I had a lady massage my tummy for a good while and they discussed theatre. I knew there was no way on this Earth I was going to go through a natural childbirth and then face surgery. I got on the gas and air and gave it my all.

Stitches were needed too and by this point, I felt like I had just given up. I was sick of being messed with and just wanted to spend time with my baby. 

All that night/day, I stayed away just watching Molly. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. 

I stayed in an extra day to get to grips with breastfeeding. When it was time to go home I felt so relieved. There is nothing like the comfort of your own home.

 

 

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5 Things NOT to say to new mums

I had a good think back at what was said to me during pregnancy and after pregnancy and had a chuckle at some of the things I was asked or…

I had a good think back at what was said to me during pregnancy and after pregnancy and had a chuckle at some of the things I was asked or told. Admittedly, i’ve even said some of these to new mums and had an unwelcoming response.

Let’s see if you have ever received any of these comments!

what not to say to new mums

  1. Do not ever say to a new mum that you “feel tired“. I can tell you now, no matter how tired you are from an unusual late night or early start will be nothing compared to the tiredness that a new mum feels. Believe me, they are thinking in their head all of the reasons why you should not feel tired and they do.
  2. “What is your babies routine?” I was asked this one so many time whilst Mole was a new born. I don’t mind the question so much now, but as a new mum, I felt it added a lot of pressure on to me to be perfect. It was also impossible to get Mole into a good routine with her reflux being so bad.
  3. “What’s his/her name?” The majority of the time, Mole was always referred to as a boy. To be honest, I didn’t mind so much as it was an easy mistake to make. Babies all look the same when they are newborn. Mole wore unisex clothes and had no hair. However, I can see how other mums can take offence. There has even been times when Mole has been dressed head to toe in pink and still has been referred to as a “he”. I’m going to stick to questions like “What’s baby’s name?” or “What’s your name?” looking at the baby in future.
  4. “Have you tried feeding her?” when your baby is crying. Oh my word. Am I the only one who has been asked this question? Of course I have tried feeding my baby! What do you think I have been doing all night!  This was so annoying when Mole’s reflux was really bad. She would cry so much and I felt like I was being given an abundance of advice that I really didn’t need.
  5. “It’s just the hormones.” Blaming my hormones on my right now is not exactly what I need as a new mum. I remember just thinking, “I don’t care if its the hormones, I need a hug and a little help around the house.”

So do any of those comments sound familiar? I think it is super easy to forget how intense being a new mum is. I’m 12 months on now, and due to me being pregnant with baby number 2, I’ve only just started to remember things.

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My hopes for Mole

I’m coming close to having Mole for a full year now. She is the most perfect, little girl. Watching her grow this past year excites me for what the future…

I’m coming close to having Mole for a full year now. She is the most perfect, little girl.

Watching her grow this past year excites me for what the future holds. Every single day I spend with her just gets better and better.

Mole is always smiley. I hope i’m not jinxing myself when I say this, but, I haven’t had a tough day with her in a long time. Mole will happily play for hours with her favourite blanket and look back at us to check we are still watching her play peek a boo with the biggest smile on her face.

Her little giggle that comes out when we blow raspberries on her belly or pretend to eat her food. I wouldn’t change her for the world.

Sadly, I would change the world for her.

Since becoming a mum I am aware of so much more. I take more interest in world conflicts and other serious issues going on that could affect my Childs life.

I have even reflected on my own upbringing and seen parts that I know I couldn’t do for Mole.

Here are some of my hopes for my baby girl

Happiness

A very expected hope. I want to focus on the fact that happiness can come from the smallest things. I would love Mole to find happiness in simple things that don’t need hundreds of pounds to buy or years to finally achieve.

Strong Family Values

My hope is Mole will understand the importance of strong family values. I want her to live by the saying that “at the end of the day we are family” so no matter what may happen. I think it is even important to treat people close to you as you would family with the same level of respect.

Healthy

I really hope that Mole lives a healthy life. I feel that in this day and age we are so lucky to know which foods to avoid in order to live a healthy life. We even know so much more on cigarettes and alcohol now that I find bizarre to ignore the serious health risks associated.

Fun

I hope Mole does not take life too seriously and has fun! Since having Mole, I feel like my life has only just begun and i’m having the most fun i’ve ever had. Funny really because I don’t go out as much or do things I use to think was fun. I can have fun dancing around the kitchen to nursery rhymes or going out for a walk with the pram.

Her own goals

Growing up, it was very clear what my parents wanted for me career wise. The thought of doing something not academic was not entertained and I was padlocked to the educational path of college, degree and job. I look back now and whilst I am proud of myself for achieving all of this, I do wish I gave myself more time to think what I really wanted to do. And give myself the credit for doing something for me.

I will be supportive of Moles goals in life and take into consideration that she is her own person.

Bond

I hope me and Mole will always have a close bond. We are inseparable now and I cant imagine that changing.

I’ve always longed for a close relationship with my mum. I get jealous when I hear people talking about how their mum is their best friend. It’s my number one priority to make sure Mole knows she is loved and that no matter what she will always have me.

 

 

Love Mummy xx

 

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5 Boring Things I love Now I’m A Mum

Being a mum is the best thing ever right? but, it can be repetitive and exhausting. Having a battle with your constant baby brain whilst being sleep deprived makes it…

Being a mum is the best thing ever right? but, it can be repetitive and exhausting. Having a battle with your constant baby brain whilst being sleep deprived makes it almost impossible to have a normal conversation.

Personally, I don’t think being a mum makes you boring. Maybe my non mum friends will disagree. I feel I am a tired version of myself that loves to talk about nothing other than Mole. Ok, Maybe I am little boring then.

However, I will admit to things I would have previously considered to be very boring before having my baby and now I feel like I love them now I am a mum.

Let’s see if you are with my on these five:

My 5 top boring things I love

1. My cordless vacuum cleaner

This is a godsend. The way I can whizz round any room without having to faff about with plugging it in or making sure my baby isn’t swinging from the wire. The satisfactory feeling of seeing all the crisp crumbs getting sucked up one by one. The lovely white noise that plays from it drowning out the noise of my baby fighting her first 5 minutes of nap time. Bliss.

2. Drying the washing outside

How is there that much washing seriously? I swear Mole goes through outfits faster than me running to the snack draw. Before being a mum, I never realised the biggest battle I would face in life is my washing pile. It’s just SO big! As soon as the sun starts to shine, I dive outside with my wet, pile of clothes and hang them straight onto the washing line. Is it just me or does this feel like a huge sense of achievement that in England we are able to dry our clothes outside? Not to mention the fresh smell afterwards. I just love it.

3. Baby TV

Honestly, I was always one of those people who said “I’m never going to let my baby watch TV”. erm, how wrong was I? Not to mention judgemental. Now, when I hear that annoying Momento the Chef pop up on the screen and I see Moles face fill with joy, my heart gets so full. I can finally grab a drink without her clinging to my leg, or I can take a moment to think what to make for tea.

Even in restaurants (Mole hates restaurants) I can put it on my phone. I feel like it is my sneaky secret weapon to Jay and I enjoying a romantic meal in peace.

Before being a mum, the sound of any child related programmes would make my toes curl.

4. Early Nights In

cosy night in bed

Pre baby, I would be partying away the night trying to stay up all hours. If I was staying in, then I still would be close to doing an all nighter watching late night TV or in a YouTube worm hole. Now, I struggle to keep my eyes open past 9.

I secretly love sneaking off to bed early, diving into the bed feeling the cold sheets all to myself. having a few hours peaceful sleep before being woken up to horrendous snoring. I love the feeling of waking up early and thinking oh its only 11pm, and feeling like I’ve had a full nights sleep already.

5. Supermarket shopping

Before having Mole, I would leave the food shop till the last possible minute to the point where I would be on the brink of starvation and putting together whatever I would have left in the kitchen cupboard. One time it was rice and gravy ew.

boring things i love as a mum

 

Now, I’ll even go to a supermarket when the fridge is full. I’m not sure what I love about it so much. Sometimes it is whizzing Mole around in the trolley, which I find super cute when she holds on. Other times it is finding new food ideas for her to try. If I find the odd bargain well thats my night made!

 

What are your favourite boring things now you are a parent?

 

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10 things no one tells you about childbirth

When I was pregnant I would spend my time researching everything to do with childbirth. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything. Nothing was going to surprise me…

When I was pregnant I would spend my time researching everything to do with childbirth. I wanted to be sure that I knew everything. Nothing was going to surprise me when the time would come to go to the hospital. I would even spend nights watching One Born Every Minute so I was clued up on different scenarios.

But, from my experience there was 10 things no one told me about childbirth. I wonder if you agree with them too!

1.You do not rush to the hospital

From the first moment I experienced my first contraction I expected that my baby was about to come within 5 minutes. The race to the hospital was on! Wrong. You have to time your contractions until they are the correct lengths and time apart. This can take hours! I waited all day and when I turned up barely being able to walk, the hospital still wanted to send me back home.

2. Waters don’t always gush

In films whenever a lady’s water breaks there is the biggest gush of water leaving a pool on the floor. Not always the case. Some women only experience a little trickle of their water breaking. That’s usually down to the break being at the top of the sac. My waters didn’t even break on their own. The midwife popped them during the final stages of my labour. Other than my baby’s head crowning, it was one of the most painful experiences of my life! The pressure felt like I was going to burst open!

3. It feels like you need to go for a number 2

Is this TMI? I don’t know? But it’s true! No one told me this! When your contractions start it can feel like you need to go to the toilet. I kept going to the toilet but nothing was happening because that’s just how going into labour felt. I was also really embarrassed at the time thinking I had an off stomach that had come completely at the wrong time!

4. The waiting game

Labour can last for ages and ages. I was in labour for 12 hours. Whilst you are there on the hospital bed in absolute agony, whoever is by your side will be watching TV, eating crisps and just chilling. The time for you passes by and you are so focused on breathing techniques. But your birthing partner will feel the process is lasting a lifetime.

5. Placenta delivery

I knew after delivering a baby you have to then deliver your placenta. What I didn’t know what how painful this is. I also didn’t know that this can lead to more complications. Even after having a natural birth, you could still go to theatre to deliver the placenta.

6. Stitches

Ouch. I don’t have to tell you how much this hurts because I’m sure you can imagine. I had no idea that I was going to be lay down with my legs open for a good 40 minutes whilst the midwife figured out how to stitch up my complicated tear.

7. Blood

I was not prepared for the amount of blood loss. Even after birth. You will go through mummy pads as much as your newborn will go through nappies.

8. Birth plan goes out the window

You have no control and there is no point getting your hopes up. You have to go with the flow and trust your midwife. If you can get a say then brilliant. But do not be disheartened when things do not go exactly how you want.

9. Feeding your baby after birth

As a first time mum, I was unaware of how often to feed and how long for. During antenatal classes I learnt how to breastfeed. Daft right? I didn’t even have a baby to practice with. I assumed as soon as I had given birth I would begin to breastfeed. Little did I know that me and my baby would both need practice. And well, even after practice we both couldn’t get it. That’s okay! Other methods of feeding your baby are available with NO judgement. Just do what works best for YOU.

10. Pure emotion

People talk about how it is the best feeling in the world to give birth to your baby and that is so true. But I couldn’t believe the range of emotions felt. You can go from being scared to happy pretty quickly. Even after you have given birth you still feel overwhelmed with emotions.

Let me know what people didn’t tell you about childbirth!

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Dear Molly

Dear Molly, When I first had you I never had a baby before. When I found out you were growing in my tummy I was extremely excited for our new…

Dear Molly,

When I first had you I never had a baby before. When I found out you were growing in my tummy I was extremely excited for our new adventure through life together.

Although I had never been around babies before, I thought I would be really good at being a mum because I work with children. I spend all day teaching them and showing them the right way to behave. I make them laugh and guide them through their problems. Some children I worked with always made bad choices and I would do my hardest to help them make the right choice even when other adults didn’t understand why.

So when I had you Molly I thought I would instantly be able to make all of the right choices for you, especially because you were mine. But Molly, I had no idea how hard being a mummy really is and i’m sure one day you will see for yourself when we look after your brother or sister if me and daddy have anymore babies.

When I first had you, I had all the time in the world as I had taken time off work. But having you meant I had to make a hard choice of moving out of Grandma and Grandads house to live with your Daddy. That was scary because I had never lived with a boy before and me and your daddy had not been together for very long so I was worried if he saw me all the time I might annoy him and he would not like me anymore.

Moving house was very lonely. I had no other adults around me. It takes my family a long time to travel here and I had no friends either. I had no one to talk to and I would go all day and night on my own and i’d get really upset with daddy when he would come in from work and spend the evening on the PlayStation with his headset on and then fall asleep on the couch for the rest of the night. I wished that you were big enough to be able to talk to me and we could have a girly night in together. I just felt like I didn’t know you. Not like I do now. I was terrified that I didn’t know I’d love you when you grow up.

When you were a baby you cried a lot. I was very silly because I never had a baby before I thought you cried a lot because of me. Sometimes I was scared to hold you because I thought you didn’t like me. Even when I wanted to hold and cuddle you, I felt like I couldn’t because I would make you cry. If I would hold you out in public I thought people might notice I was struggling so I didn’t leave the house. When really you had terrible tummy pains and reflux. You were crying because that was your way of talking to me, telling me that you needed me. I would cry too, not in front of other people, which is very silly. I’d cry because I needed you, and I was worried about being your mummy and doing it all wrong. From day one you taught me something very special; When you are hurting you should always tell someone. Even if it is a little hurting.

I always told my students at school that if you make the wrong choice at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter as we are all human and make mistakes sometimes. Well I should have listened to my own advice. But I felt like if I told anyone they would think I was a bad mummy and they would question my love for you. I know now that I may not be the best mummy in the world, but to you I am. And I will always do what is best for you trying my full best.

I am writing this letter to you Molly just in case there is another mummy out there who is scared and worried. I want them to know that yes it is okay not to be okay. To have a cry in the shower, to go to sleep feeling sick but it all gets better in time. I promise. Telling someone really helps. I’m not worried or scared about you anymore Molly. I can finally say I am excited and feeling all of the joyful feelings I did back when I found out you were growing in my tummy.

Thank you Molly, you have gifted me with so much in 5 months. New friends for life, life lessons, new passions, love and confidence (one thing I never thought was possible to have before you).

You may still make me cry on the odd hard day but I promise you fill me with smiles till I am bursting.

I love you always

Mummy

xxx

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